2017 Review

A Round Up of the Year

Welcome to my 2017 Review. This round-up of the year on HornyGeekGirl follows on from last year’s round-up. I’ve included info I got from my stats page as well my personal thoughts on the year for me.

2017 review

2017 Review

I’ve had a strange year. I went vegan again after a decade, I met some amazing new people, I lost a few friends to distance, and yet again I found myself cast in the role of the amazing disposable girl. At this point I really think it must be me, I did as much as I could not to repeat the same mistakes, and yet still find myself ending up in the same place. Not sure what I can do differently going forward, and not sure I can be bothered to keep fighting for people who don’t do the same for me. However, I do have some great friends, and I am actually doing pretty well.

My hair is still PURPLE. I still LOVE it!!!! I feel more like me than I have for a long time.

I’ve stepped up the reviews and writing for my film and book website, and actually have quite a good rhythm down for it, I also launched my food and travel website. I’ve managed to find an e-commerce job I love, it’s currently only temporary but I’m hopeful that I can do what I’ve been asked and it can all turn around and become something great. I’m also trying to pitch to more magazines, online and print, as well as website blogs. It’s something I struggle with but if I am going to make this whole freelance thing work I need to be pushing myself more.

I want to try and post here on HGG at least once a week this year. I lost my way a bit in the sex blogging world, I because disillusioned with some aspects of it. I was so positive after attending Eroticon at the beginning of the year but things went awry, I lost some of my enthusiasm and momentum. I want to try and find that again.

General Stats

  • Overall have had a 17.12% increase in my views from 2016
  • HGG has been viewed from 170 different countries around the World
  • I wrote 47 posts in 2017 which is less than in 2016

Top 5 Viewing Countries

  • United States – 43%
  • United Kingdom – 22%
  • Canada – 6%
  • Australia – 5%
  • Germany – 3%

Top 5 Search Terms

  • Sexy Masturbation Stories
  • Phone Erotic
  • Finger Fucking
  • Satisfyer Pro 2
  • Mutual Masturbation

Top 5 Review Posts

Top 5 Erotica

Top 5 Referrers

For this section I am only counting other bloggers, not websites, or social media referrals. So this 2017 review section is other bloggers whose links have brought people to my website.


I hope you enjoyed my 2017 Review. Here’s to a FABULOUS 2018.

Pocket Pulse from HotOctopuss


The Pocket Pulse is the latest offering from award winners, Hot Octopuss. Launched in September 2013, PULSE was different to any other toy that had come before it. By creating a toy based on medical technology, that looked more like a luxury piece of industrial design than a sex toy, Hot Octopuss changed the way sex toys were perceived, winning multiple awards in the process. They sit at the cutting edge of sex toy design, taking concepts, technology and materials from outside the adult industry in order to bring pleasure products into the 21st Century.
Their aim is to create products that go beyond conventional thinking, designed to fit in with people’s lifestyles, not just their bedrooms.

pocket pulse pocket pulse Pocket Pulse

Pocket Pulse

When I reviewed the PULSE my biggest complaint was the size and weight, in my little hands it just felt too unwieldy for me to use properly. Hot Octopuss are addressing that problem with the Pocket Pulse. Same great idea but updated and pocket sized for your convenience.

pocket pulse  pocket pulse pocket pulse

The Pocket PULSE uses two large vibration motors which in tandem, deliver incredibly deep and powerful vibrations.
This lightweight stroker, which is held against the penis with a flexible arm, will take your masturbation technique to the next level– power in the palm of your hand.
Lightweight and versatile, the Pocket PULSE can be used flaccid or erect and is completely waterproof.
The Pocket PULSE Remote, with its additional remote control, offers flexibility for solo users as well as a heightened level of fun for couples play as your partner takes control.


Differences between the PULSE III and the Pocket PULSE

PULSE III uses a patented “piston”- like system to deliver a completely unique sensation. This ‘tapping’ – also known as oscillation – can only be achieved with toys which utilise PulsePlate technology. While the Pocket PULSE uses two large, conventional vibration motors which in tandem deliver incredibly deep and powerful vibrations. It’s the closest you can get to the intensity of PULSE III but in a lightweight, compact toy.

pocket pulse pocket pulse Pocket pulse pocket pulse pocket pulse pocket pulse pocket pulse pocket pulse

Be the first to own the Pocket PULSE!

If you buy the Pocket PULSE, Pocket PULSE Remote or any other sex toy including the Queen Bee and PULSE III direct from www.hotoctopuss.com, you can use the code HGG15 at checkout to get 15% off!
Or if you’d like to try winning one, enter Hot Octopuss’s giveaway. To be in with a chance, all you need to do is follow on @HotOctopuss on Twitter and follow the instructions in their pinned tweet.


*Disclaimer – Hot Octopuss are one of my advertisers. Please support my website by clicking the links, having a look, and buying their product.

Bedtime Voyeur

Masturbation Monday #42

For the first time in forever I am actually taking part in this week’s #MasturbationMonday, Bedtime Voyeur. As you’ll know due to changes in UK laws I have been trying to be careful what new images I host directly on my page but I felt there was something almost innocent about this gorgeous inspiration photograph, and I just had to include it in this post.

  Bedtime VoyeurThe Other Livvy is a beautiful woman, sweet human being, freaking gorgeous, and she’s newly married to Exhibit A who you may remember from previous prompts. I perved her website (as you do) and found beautiful images that made my mouth water and my brain scream, “You need this for Masturbation Monday!” Thankfully she was happy to let us all be inspired by her this week! 

Image originally published as Inspiration and used with permission.

Readers – check out the different posts to find something that makes you want to get off.

Bedtime Voyeur


It had been a long day, hell it had been a long week. Without turning the lights on, she moved slowly into the room, struggling to put one foot in front of the other, even her teeth felt tired. She dropped her bag and coat on the chair, pulled her jumper over her head, and throwing it in the direction of the laundry basket, unfastening her bra and sliding it down her arms, letting it drop to the floor. She looked down at it for a minute , then shrugged half heartedly turning away as she unzipped her skirt. She pushed it down past her hips, before sitting on the edge of the bed, she kicked her feet, forcing the skirt to fall to the floor.

It slipped free, and she fell back, flopping back on to the bed. She considered trying to get up but only managed to roll over. She bent her legs, reaching back to pull her heel out of one then the other. Her stockings made her feet slippery, so both shoes flopped from her feet when she wiggled her toes. She flexed her feet, watching as the shoes slipped further and further down her toes. Finally she gave a flick and her shoes clattered to the floor. It felt strange to be lying on the bed with only her stockings on but the more she thought about it the more she liked the idea.

She let her legs drop back to the bed. Her bed was next to the window, and she lifted herself up on her elbows to look out. The night was dark but the buildings around her were a patchwork of yellows and whites, from their tenants’ lights. She reached out and switched on her lamp, seconds later the light went off in the window directly opposite hers, for a brief moment before it went off she thought she’d seen someone in the window watching her.  It made her pause for a moment before she decided she didn’t care.

She rolled onto her back, her hands coming up to play with her breasts, cupping and squeezing them, then pinching her nipples. She moves her hand down, smoothing over her stomach, and down to her mound. She strokes over her outer lips, letting her fingers slip down her slit, sliding them back up and spreading her juices up to her swollen clit. She circles her hard nub with her fingers, while she pinches one of her nipples, tugging it harder as her orgasm builds.

She rubs her clit, her fingers pressing firmer, as she moves them over her clit faster. Spikes of pleasure are shooting through her, sparking from her nipple and cunt and meeting deep in her stomach. Heat is running through her body warming her muscles, and causing them to clench. She presses her head back into the pillow turning her head to look out of the window. Pressure builds inside her, her body rolling with the waves of pleasure. Her breath is coming out in pants and moans, and as the waves crest an animal growl tears from her throat. Keeping her eyes on the dark window opposite, she lifts her hand to her mouth and deliberately sucks each finger.



Hope you enjoyed my latest entry for Masturbation Monday, Bedtime Voyeur. You can find more sexy stories by clicking the button below:

Bedtime Voyeur

Sheets of San Francisco – Advertiser Spotlight


This post is shining a spotlight on one of my advertisers, Sheets of San Francisco. I first got to know Mark at ETO 2016, drinking in a bar tends to lend itself to making friends that way. I already knew about their sheets but hadn’t had the opportunity to really feel them, so this was my chance to see (and feel) them properly. I loved them so much I ended up hanging out with the team (and helping a little bit) at Sexhibition 2016.

sheets of san francisco sheets of san francisco

Sheets of San Francisco

When it came to creating their unique products, Sheets of San Francisco wanted to make a high quality product that felt great, as well as being functional.

One of the main differences about them at Sheets of San Francisco was their determination to create a high quality, premium product that felt great to use, yet was extremely practical and durable. Their team spent many months researching and developing unique fabrics and designs which have evolved into the innovative range of products they offer today. They think that says a lot about them and their ethos.
Their range of fitted sheets and flat throws utilise their high quality engineered fabrics to provide products that are not just fluid proof but have a range of additional qualities, being breathable, highly tactile with a great feel against the skin, yet extremely tough. Amazingly on top of all this their sheets are extremely easy to launder ready to go again and again.
Designed to cater for a range of interest from intimate massages to messy lube sessions and even food play wax-play and watersports our fluidproof sheets appeal across the spectrum.

From the concept, the Sheets of San Francisco range of fluid-proof has developed into two distinct ranges, made up of very different types and looks of fabrics along with a third Custom range. Their standard range offers all the technical benefits of their fabrics in a tough yet sensual range of fitted sheets and throws in a full range of sizes. Their printed range is unique in the market and offers all the same levels of practicality in beautiful high resolution designs.

One of the key things about Sheets of San Francisco is their commitment to local manufacture of their products. They manufacture here in the UK for the domestic and European markets. They firmly believe that manufacturing here in the UK both supports and provides jobs in our local community and also enables them to deliver high levels of quality along with responsive lead-times. Win Win all round.

From SoSF

sheets of san francisco sheets of San francisco


This last pic is just for fun because at Eroticon 2017 I was lucky enough to ‘baby sit’ Elvis, the Sheets of San Francisco bear. He is very tactile, and lovely to hold and cuddle. I took him on some adventures and he was also very photogenic.

sheets of San Francisco sheets of san francisco sheets of san francisco



*Disclaimer – Sheets of San Francisco are one of my advertisers. Please support my website by clicking the links, having a look, and buying their products.

Halloween Dating

Dating Advice

This dating article, Halloween Dating was written as a sponsored post but unfortunate circumstances came along and it is no longer a sponsored post. However, I enjoyed writing it so I decided to share it anyway. Hope you have fun reading it.

halloween dating


Halloween Dating

I used to love Halloween when I was younger (and it is still my favourite ‘holiday’). It’s my birthday so I always had parties with everyone in fancy dress, or as I got older we would put costumes on to go out. I’ve met a few people I’ve dated when on a Halloween night out, and I’ve also arranged a few first dates for the same night.

If it’s a holiday you like, I think Halloween is a great night for first date because it gives you a pretty good insight into the person. What they dress up as, if they are willing to dress up, how they react to your costume (not to mention to other people’s). If you love Halloween it can give you a good idea what they think of it.

There are a few things to take into consideration when you’re planning a Halloween date. If you want to eat many of the nicer places won’t appreciate your costume, so you may end up eating somewhere you wouldn’t normally consider for a first date. Also, many bars will be busy, this can impact things if you want to have deep and meaningful conversations all night. However, if you just want a fun night with some light “getting to know you” conversation, dancing, and lots of fun it’s a great night.

Your costume has to be chosen with care, you want to enter into the spirit, while trying to be original, and not causing offence. If you don’t want to end up looking bad:

  • Don’t glorify violence against women
  • No problematic historical figures
  • Cultures are not costumes
    • No blackface, brownface, yellowface
    • No religious garb (hijabs, bindis, etc)
    • No native headdresses
    • No gypsy related outfits
  • Gender identity is NOT a costume
  • Sexual identity is NOT a costume

You might think you’re being clever or funny but you’re not. Also, a really bad idea are costumes that resemble outfits worn by problematic groups (KKK, facists, etc). For example, if I turned up and my date was dressed as Hitler I would definitely have an issue with it, and the date would not be going any further. Another good one to avoid is anything where your face is coated with grease-paint. This is just personal preference but there is nothing worse than going in to kiss someone only to end up with a mouthful of face paint…it really does not taste good. However, you can now get the body paints that dry when applied, so they don’t smudge off when you’re kissing…these can also be great fun if you want to pick a costume that requires full body paint (think alien characters from Star Trek) because it doesn’t rub off on your clothes.

If things go well and you decide you want to take your date home, you can keep the Halloween dating spirit going with nightcap cocktails with a spooky theme. Maybe you decorated for the holiday before going out. And for a truly silly sexy twist on the holiday glow in the dark condoms, dildos, and body paint can be a lovely way to add some extra entertainment to the fun.


For more of my dating thoughts, click here.