2016 Review

A Round Up of the Year

Welcome to my 2016 Review. This round-up of HornyGeekGirl’s year was inspired by the wonderful RebelsNotes’ post on her top 20 blogs of 2016. I’ve included info I got from my stats page as well my personal thoughts on the year for me. I have also included some the posts I remember reading this year from other bloggers.

2016 Review

2016 Review

I’ve had a really strange year. Personally not so great, and yet again I am finding myself cast in the role of the amazing disposable girl. At this point I really think it must be me, I did as much as I could not to repeat the same mistakes, and yet still find myself ending up in the same place. Not sure what I can do differently going forward, and not sure I can be bothered to keep fighting for people who wouldn’t do the same for me. On the plus side, I have some great friends, and reconnected with one of my best friends, despite feeling this time last year that we had drifted apart. I am actually doing pretty well despite the bad personal things, and people I trusted letting me down, I feel I am happy overall.

Also I finally dyed my hair PURPLE something I have wanted to do since I was 16 but was never able to do because of having jobs where I wasn’t allowed. I LOVE IT!!!!  And it feels like me.

Professionally I finally realised that what I always wanted to do with my life was to write. To do that I needed to stop listening to the people who said writing was just a hobby, and to take charge of making it my career. I stopped trying to find a job in an office (that I knew would end up making me ill) and took a huge leap into the unknown. I went freelance. This year has been a roller-coaster, and I still have a long way to go but I am writing for a living. I am living at least the start of my dream. Next goal is being able to afford to live alone again.

Blog Posts I loved

This post is in no specific order; they’re just posts I enjoyed reading this year, that stayed with me, or that I connected with. I hope you’ll consider giving them a read. This 2016 Review list is shorter than I intended because some blogs don’t have a ‘calendar’ archive, and I couldn’t find the post I wanted to share.

  • This post from GirlontheNet really spoke to me. It’s not even the best thing she wrote this year (so give her archives a good going over) but it has stuck with me.
  • Cara‘s post on whether we really do need Adult Sex Education was a great piece written for Adult Sex Ed Month.
  • This post on rape from ScrewTaboo. In all fairness I could have linked to a number of the posts in this series from the lovely lady behind this blog but the one I’ve chosen has links to all the individual posts. The post on revictimisation is especially important to addressing why it often happens multiple times to one person.
  • This post from Emmie at UnsignedMe. As a fellow depression sufferer I always appreciate hearing/reading other people’s views on living with mental illness. And this one is a great reminder that we need to be kinder to ourselves, and if we have to take meds to be ourselves, that’s okay.
  • This post from NotSOSexintheCity made me laugh quite a lot because they are exactly the sort of things I find myself saying when I go through profiles on dating apps. Superficial but just what many of us think.
  • This post on processing his ropes from CharlieForrest was gorgeous. I felt like I was there. I’d never been interested in rope before really but the way he talks about it makes me want to experience how they feel tight against my skin.
  • This post from RemittanceGirl written after Brexit summed up how I was feeling, in a way I was struggling to do myself. I felt so much anger and disappointment around the result of the referendum, and the subsequent reaction of the side that ‘won’.
  • This post on Body Positivity from Emma on EssaysAndWine. It’s something I try to do and struggle with and it is great to hear other people talking about it, especially when they do it so eloquently.

General Stats

  • Overall have had a 36.21% increase in my views from 2015
  • Average daily views have gone from 195 per day to 248 per day
  • HGG has been viewed from 165 different countries around the World
  • I wrote 47 more posts in 2016 than in 2015
  • Post likes saw a percentage growth of 327.12% (how crazy is that???)
  • My average monthly views have increased by around 20% from Jan to Dec

Top 5 Viewing Countries

  • United States – 43%
  • United Kingdom – 23.5%
  • Canada – 5.7%
  • Australia – 4.5%
  • Germany – 2.4%

Top 5 Search Terms

  • Masturbation Monday
  • Horny Geek Girl
  • Satisfyer Pro 2
  • Masturbation Stories
  • Finger Fucking

Top 5 Review Posts

Top 5 Articles

Top 5 Erotica

Top 5 Referrers

For this section I am only counting other bloggers, not websites, or social media referrals. So this 2016 review section is other bloggers whose links have brought people to my website.


I hope you enjoyed my 2016 Review. Here’s to an AWESOME 2017.

Sex Wooden Toys Dildo

Wood Dildos

The Sex Wooden Toys Dildo makers monitor the creation of each toy from the very beginning; starting by choosing the best raw material and checking all manufacturing stages in order to achieve a flawless finished product.

A key selling point of SWT items is their handcrafted production, this means both high quality and absolute uniqueness. The different colours and veining of the wood are easily distinguished in every single product. They also use multiple varieties of wood in their production; including oak, olive, cherry, padouk, mahogany and wenge. All of which have their own unique features in colour and appearance. Behind any product there is plentiful research, as well as experimental activities which affect both the shape and effectiveness to create the best product. This is done in order to obtain the maximum pleasure as well as fully satisfy consumer demand and taste.

All Sex Wooden Toys Dildo are created with the use of a wood lathe. Through using this tool, the wood manufacturing is entirely handmade. In fact, the item is fixed to the lathe, which makes it rotate at a regular speed. Skilled artisans then shape the object with specific hand tools so as to obtain the required shape; giving new life to the plain wood, as well as creating a well-refined product.

Sex Wooden Toys Dildo

Why Wood?

Wood is a unique material in nature, traditionally used as raw material in building houses and furniture, as well as everyday items; such as bowls, cups, utensils, etc.

With its consistency, colour and scent, wood allows us to give life to a large variety of sex toys, any of which can be endowed with specific features. Sex toys you may have experienced up until now were made out of latex and silicone, as well as ceramic, borosilicate glass, steel, ABC and CyberSkin.Wood is something different.

SWT is the first Italian company to produce sex toys made out of a natural (as well as entirely biodegradable material) which is toxic-free, non-polluting and easy to find in nature: wood.

Sex Wooden Toys Dildo

sex wooden toys dildo

The Sex Wooden Toys Dildo arrived in plain packaging with no indication of the contents. The main product container was a simple grey and white thin card box printed with the SWT logo. Inside this the Dildo was held by some folded card; this had ripped on both my parcels so the dildos were rolling free but luckily they were undamaged.

sex wooden toys dildo    sex wooden toys dildo

When SWT contacted me asking if I’d be willing to review one of their items I was happy to agree. I have a small wooden dildo from a local company that I love so I was eager to try some different styles and shapes, not to mention something a bit bigger. I gave them a list of a few items of theirs that I would like to try, asking them to send something in the medium size first.

however, there was a slight mix-up and the first item I was sent was the Demetra…in large. I opened it and I knew it just wasn’t going to work. I am not a size queen and there was just no way I was going to be able to use this dildo. I contacted SWT, explaining the situation and they very kindly agreed to send me one of the smaller items from my list.  The second item they sent was the EOS in Medium. I’ll be really honest, even this size surprised me. I checked the measurements on both and found they actually come up slightly larger than stated in both sizes. So please make sure you keep that in mind when buying.

sex wooden toys dildo

The quality of both pieces is outstanding. They are silky smooth but not soft and slippery like silicone; they have a slight drag which works really well in use. Giving a nice amount of friction when used to thrust. I have only tested the EOS internally, and I will be honest I have to use a warm up toy, I can’t go straight in with it. And I can’t get anywhere near on the Demetra.

sex wooden toys dildo sex wooden toys dildo

I have a play friend who likes anal pegging, and I can’t help but think what a shape it is that the Demetra doesn’t have a flared base, because it would be perfect for using on him. All it would have needed is for the last inward curve before the base to be a bit deeper, creating a shelf/stopper. This seems to be a problem with all of SWT’s dildo range unfortunately. Which is a shame as they are cutting out half of their market by just missing out on a small detail.

The EOS is great for thrusting, and because of the bulb shape of the head it also feels great if I insert it so the head rests against my g-spot. When I do this I can let go of the shaft, and the weight tilts it perfectly so the head presses it perfectly. When thrusting with the EOS you can feel each bulb as it slips in and out. Some people may struggle to take the full length of this dildo because of the straightness of the shaft, and how solid the material is.  I can only just take the third bulb.

The wood is specially treated so it is waterproof, and very easy to clean with soap and warm water. You just need to make sure you dry it thoroughly after washing. And don’t leave it submerged. SWT advise only using water-based lubes with their dildos which I think is a pretty good rule of thumb anyway.



I really liked the quality, and design of the Sex Wooden Toys Dildo. Both items have the look and feel of a real luxury sex toy, and the attention to design and style is very impressive. With a few tweaks they would be perfect.

Home for the Holidays – A Personal Post

A Personal Post

It’s that time of year when people ask are you going home for the holidays? My answer….

home for the holidays

Home for the Holidays

This morning I read a post from Girl on the Net about staying at your own place for the holidays. It also has an awesome poem.

I hate when people ask me about my holiday plans. Well not holiday plans exactly but when they ask if I’m going home for Christmas. Not because I mind answering but because my answer so often seems to upset them…

You see I don’t have ‘a home’ to go back to. Where I live now is my home. These conversations usually go along these lines:

Them: Are you going home for Christmas?
Me: Where I live is home.
T: Well, yes but what about your parents?
M: They passed away years ago.
T: What about other family?
M: I don’t have any. It’s just me. So what are your holiday plans?
T: You”re going to be all alone over Christmas?
M: If I’m lucky and my housemates all go to their families, yes.

By this point I just want the conversation to be over. They’re giving me this look, and it cuts. My Dad loved Christmas. I would always go see him on Christmas morning but never stayed for lunch. Not after I had my own place, I would rather go home and do my own thing.

Maybe it was better having Christmas alone when it was my choice, rather than now where it is because I have nowhere to go. However, I am happy with my life. Sometimes things get me down but overall I love it. And Christmas is great because my housemates are usually gone for a few days, so the house is all quiet. I can wash up later in the day rather than having to worry about doing it straight away. It’s nice.

The conversation with people though, that’s hard. It seems to bother people a lot. Even when I reassure them I am happy with how things are. I hate the conversation but other than outright lying (which I won’t do) I don’t know what else to do. What to say to them to stop that look.


Preparation – A Look at my Preparations for Wicked Wednesday

Wicked Wednesday

Welcome to my 32nd post for Rebel’s Notes‘ Wicked Wednesday, Preparation. I was going to talk about my Christmas preparation and plans but then I got the idea to write about a much more sexy type of preparation. You don’t have to use the prompt but I like the inspiration, and challenge. The prompt for this week was:

preparationChristmas is coming closer and everyone is busy with some kind of preparation, even if you don’t like the Christmas time. What kind of preparations are you making? Maybe even non-Christmassy ones? Share your sexiness!

Image source

© Rebel’s Notes


Sometimes I take more care with my preparation than others. I am usually groomed but on some occasions I like to go the extra mile. I don’t just want to be hair free, I want to be silky smooth and soft. For me this involves a careful match up of exfoliating, shaving, exfoliating again, followed by lots and lots of moisturiser….

I carefully spread the bath sheet towel over the end of my bed before going to the bathroom.Using the shower head I wet body. Then I carefully do my first round of exfoliation; for this I use a homemade mix of sugar, olive oil and lemon juice. You mix it all up to a thick paste that is still crumbly, and not too wet. I rub this onto my entire body, even over my vulva, being careful not to get it too close to any openings (sugar and warm wet areas is not a good combo). I step back into the shower, rinsing it off without using any shower gel or soap, just rubbing under the warm running water. You do need to rinse off the bath or shower floor quite well after doing this because it will be slippery. I don’t dry my skin, I just wrap a towel round me leaving my skin with drops of moisture.

Filling a bowl with water, I carry it back carefully so I don’t spill any of the steaming water on myself. I set it on the chest of drawers next to my bed, where I already have my razor waiting. Normally I’d shave in the shower but doing this means I can take my time and get a really close shave. I strip off my clothes, kicking them to one side out of my way. I smooth a blend of coconut butter and coconut oil over my pubic mound, rubbing it into the skin. Then I smooth it over my legs, slowing stroking up from ankle to the top of my thigh, using extra oil on ‘drier’ areas like my knees. Finishing up with my underarms.

Dipping the razor into the hot water, I shake off the excess water. Sitting down and leaning back I pull the skin tight over my mound. Applying the razor to my skin in short strokes, pressing lightly. Working from the outer edge where my thighs meet my body, and then into the middle and downwards, pausing every few strokes to rinse off the blade. I let one leg fall to the side and pull the skin tight, carefully running the razor over my outer lip on that side. Switching over to do the other side before slipping the razor further down between the tops of my thighs. Letting it glide carefully without using too much pressure.

Standing up I prop one leg up on the bed, using long strokes to shave the smooth skin on my shins and calves. Running the blade in short quick strokes over my knee, making sure the skin is tight. Twisting my leg so I can shave the back as thoroughly as the front. An ex once watched this and remarked that the positions I twisted myself into were reminiscent of a ballerina. He was complimenting me (and possibly marvelling at my flexibility) but in my head I always pictured the hippo in a tutu from the Pota Mousse adverts. I am not graceful.

Underarms are last. My arm stretched high, elbow bending over and behind my head. I lean forward slightly, the weight of my hanging breasts helping to pull the skin tight. And I use fast short strokes, zipping over both arms quickly. Then it’s back to the bathroom for another round of the exfoliator. This time I am much more gentle; massaging rather than rubbing it in. When I rinse it off I use a good moisturising shower gel, something with a creamy base is perfect. I don’t want to get rid of the oil I’ve used but I do want to make sure all the sugar is washed away, so it doesn’t get sticky.

I pat myself dry gently, my skin is usually a bit pink looking, and feeling delicate, so rubbing is not a good idea. Back in my bedroom I sweep a skin renewal serum over my body. Then it’s time for the body butter, I use a really good one with a shea butter base, that is almost solid in the tub. This sort of product is really rich, and great for spreading over your body, it really goes a long way. I take my time massaging the body butter all over; working it from my ankles to the tops of my thighs, over my cunt, around my arse and hips, then onto my arms starting at the wrists and smoothing up to my shoulders, under my arms, then down over my chest to my waist.

By the time I am finished I am smooth, moisturised and when I stroke my skin it feels like silk. I love doing this level of pampering care when I have fresh bedding on. There is something really decadent feeling about slipping between clean sheets and feeling them skimming over your legs.

The only thing that feels better is someone’s tongue and mouth appreciating the job you’ve done.



For more Wicked Wednesday entries click the button below:preparation

Christmas Past – Erotic Flash Fiction for Masturbation Monday

Masturbation Monday #31

Welcome to this week’s #MasturbationMonday, Christmas Past. It’s been a few months since I managed to join in with this meme, and I have missed it. I decided to do this week’s post as the first of a three part piece on a basic Christmas theme, okay maybe I just watched Scrooged. I will still be using the photo Kayla provides as inspiration but will be running my little theme. The inspiration was:

christmas past

Mmmm, to sit back and perform, knowing you’re watched and wanted. Yes, please!

Bloggers and authors – share your hottest scenes and posts. Feel free to use this week’s picture as a prompt but don’t feel obligated. Write what turns you on!

Readers – check out the different posts to find something that makes you want to get off.

Image via Tumblr

Christmas Past

She felt naked, exposed as she adjusted the suspender belt making sure the seams on the back of her stockings were straight. Normally she’d pull on her underwear over the top; last week it had been the red panties and bra. They’d looked perfect peeking out under her little black dress at the Christmas party, and she’d definitely managed to catch his attention again.

She smoothed out the bedding, putting the extra pillows on the bed, so they could prop themselves up. The lights on her Christmas Tree cast a rainbow of colours over the white bedding. She slipped her arms into her robe and picked up her shoes. She dropped them by the door, ready to put on when he arrived. His request had been specific, and she’d giggled at the nervous way he’d asked her.

She checked the slow cooker, giving it a wiggle so she could see inside. Then she lowered the heat on the pan of Mulled wine that had started to simmer on the stove top. She glanced at the clock before grabbing two glasses out of the cupboard and ladling wine into them. She’d just taken a sip when there was a knock on the door. Putting down her glass she walked over, her fingers fumbling to loosen the tie on her robe. She slid the heels on; supporting herself against the wall, as her height increased.

She turned the bolt, and stepped back as she pulled open the door. The ghost of Christmas Past smiled at her. His eyes on her face, drinking her in, barely even glancing at the outfit he’d requested. He moved inside, closing the door as he reached for her. She turned her face up to kiss him, her arms wrapping round his neck as his lips met hers. She stroked over the soft prickle of hair on the back of his head. He deepened the kiss, slipping his hands down to cup her arse, pulling her against him.

She staggered slightly in the heels and they bumped against the door.
He lifted his head, and gave a soft chuckle, “You taste like Christmas.”
With a smile she said, “I made mulled wine. Want some?” She pointed to the filled glasses sitting on the counter top. He shrugged out of his coat, hanging it up on the hooks she had next to the door. She watched as picked up a glass of wine, surprised when he sat in the chair she had by the end of the bed. She grabbed her own drink and sat down on the bed, shuffling back to lean against the pillows. She sipped her wine, peeking at him from under her lashes. She expected him to come and sit with her but instead he leaned back, cradling his wine and watching her.

There was a hungry look in his eyes, and it made her wiggle. A pulse of desire hit her cunt, and she felt her nipples pucker under her robe. Meeting his look she put her glass down and untied the belt on her robe. Letting the robe slide off her shoulders, puddling behind her and baring her chest. She cupped her breasts, weighing them in her hands, as she squeezed, and massaged them. Her fingers found her puckered nipples, and she tweaked them; twisting and pulling harder than he would have done.

When he shifted in his seat, adjusting his pants where she could see his erection growing, she smiled. Wiggling her butt forward, she leaned back, angling herself as she spread her legs. She braced on knee up, and let the other drop to the side. His eyes went straight to her cunt, and she grinned as his eyebrows shot up. She’d shaved very carefully just an hour before, and she knew it wasn’t something he’d expected. She slid her hand down stroking over her stomach, and onto her pubic mound. She was still slick from the moisturiser she’d used after shaving, and her fingers slid easily over it.

She drew patterns with her fingers, watching his eyes flicker as they followed the movement. She swiped a finger down between her lips, brushing over her clit, and feeling the moisture collecting at her entrance. Using her middle fingers she rubbed over her outer lips, curling her fingers inwards to slip between her lips. She could feel her cunt beginning to throb with the start of an orgasm, and she reached her other hand around her leg, holding her lips open. She rubbed at her slit, her thumb pressing against her clit.

He watched her closely, leaning forward in his chair. He breathing becoming heavier, as the tent in his trousers grew further. His obvious arousal made her confidence soar, and she knew she was close. She almost forgot he was there as she fell against the pillows, her head dropping back, as her hand worked more furiously. She moaned loudly, feeling her muscles contract, and as she came she groaned out an “oh fuck”. Quickly removing her hand from her clit, as everything got extra sensitive. She cupped her hand over her cunt for a moment, feeling the juices of her orgasm seeping between her lips.

Looking up at him she smiled, “Want a taste?”



Hope you enjoyed my latest entry for Masturbation Monday, Christmas Past.  You can find more sexy stories by clicking the button below:

Christmas Past