Satisfyer Battery

Clitoral Stimulator

Comparison review of the Satisfyer battery powered clitoral stimulaters, the Satisfyer 1 and Satisfyer 2. I loved the Pro 2 but what did I think of these?

The peppy Satisfyer 1 is the must-have for globetrotters. The slim, round shape of the pressure wave vibrator makes it the perfect companion away from home. Battery-powered operation allows contact-free pleasure at the push of a button – whenever you want.

The elegant and popular Satisfyer 2 cannot be missing from any toiletry bag. The ergonomic shape and its battery-powered feature make it a contact-free indulgence artist, equipped with innovative pressure wave technology. The twin operating elements allows fast control over 11 intensive programs.

From Satisfyer.com

Satisfyer battery

Satisfyer Battery

Both of the battery powered Satisfyers require 2 AAA batteries.

I wasn’t really expecting much from either of these toys. I already had the Pro 2 and loved it, so I figured there was no way these could compare. However, I was pleasantly surprised. I’m not sure what the reasoning behind the release of these versions of the Satisfyer was  (because they seemed to be released AFTER the Pro 2) but maybe they just wanted to be able to make something that was even cheaper than the other versions for people with smaller budgets.

satisfyer batteryFirst was the Satisfyer 1, when I opened this I was a little concerned by the slightly flimsy feel, the casing join was obvious and ugly, and I worried that it would be too easy for body fluids to get in the gap. However, it seemed to clean well, and I found a soft toothbrush cleaned the gap perfectly. The ‘nozzle’ was a similar size and shape to the Pro 2 meaning it fit my body quite nicely. In use it was quiet and the batteries gave me about 2 hours of total playtime.

satisfyer batteryThe Satisfyer 2 looked slightly better put together, the joins seemed tighter. And the colours were more classy looking. The nozzle was much smaller and firmer than on the other models and I found it almost sharp against my body, this was especially noticeable the more aroused I became. I also found the Satisfyer 2 was noisier than the Satisfyer 1, I’m not sure if this was because the batteries didn’t fit quite as snugly so caused some rattling in use, or if it is just a noisier motor.

satisfyer batteryI found the button placement on both items very awkward. It has been moved even closer to the head of the Satisfyer than on the Pro 2, and it makes it quite difficult to reach comfortably while you are holding the body of the toy. It wasn’t a deal breaker but it is annoying enough that I noticed.

 

satisfyer battery satisfyer battery

Overall

I preferred the Satisfyer 1 to the Satisfyer 2, however neither of them pushed the Pro 2 off my Satisfyer top spot. Perfect for people who want to try the satisfyer without spending as much, or for those who don’t like rechargeable toys.

 

*Thank you to April from VivaLaSexyBlog for photography help.

*I was given the Satisfyer Battery 1 and 2 by Satisfyer in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. This review does not contain affiliate links.
horatio slice

Horatio Slice Guitar Slayer of the Universe

Book Launch Blog Tour

Today I am very excited to be welcoming, Oleander Plume to HornyGeekGirl as part of the book launch blog tour for Horatio Slice: Guitar Slayer of the Universe. She is going to be sharing with us the process of designing the graphics for her characters. Oleander wrote one of my favourite anthologies, so I was thrilled to be asked to be part of this tour. Without further ado I will pass you over to Oleander…

horatio slice

Horatio Slice is NOT dead.

Gunner Wilkes knows a secret. Heartthrob rock star Horatio Slice is not dead. Sure, Gunner may turn heads with his big brain, good looks, and gym-built body, but his mind is on one thing only: returning his all-time favorite rocker and secret fanboy crush to Earth. 

Yes, there are VAMPIRE PIRATES

Fame and stardom were starting to wear thin for Horatio Slice, but when he was sucked through a magical portal while on stage at Madison Square Garden into a jail cell in a strange dimension called Merona, his confusion quickly cleared upon meeting his sexy, dark-haired cellmate, a vampire pirate named Snake Vinter, who filled Horatio in about life in the universe, jumping from dimension to dimension, and craftily avoiding the wrath of gnarly-mask-wearing leather queen King Meridian—a guy nobody wants to cross. 

The metal ship is named Frances.

And on Snake’s metal ship live eight identical blond Humerians, who proudly display their cocks and assholes in carefully crafted trousers, as well as a wild assortment of untamable, cock-hungry travelers and stowaways. But someone has hacked into Frances’ mainframe, demanding that Snake and crew deliver Horatio Slice to King Meridian, or feel his wrath.

All the zany magical comedy of Mel Brooks, an adventure not dissimilar to Indiana Jones meets Barbarella, and men, men, horny men, of all shapes and sizes, Horatio Slice, Guitar Slayer of the Universe is wild, fun, pornographic fiction for anyone who loves the masculine, the feminine, and all identities in between. Even more so, it’s for cravers—for aficionados—of big, hard, pounding cock, and anyone who can handle laughs that won’t stop coming.

Designing Horatio Slice

When Jacob Louder sent me the rough draft of the book cover, I fell in love. The artwork he chose to represent Horatio was an uncanny likeness of the person who had before only existed in my head.

horatio slice

It also reminded me of my favorite computer game, The Sims.

I started playing The Sims when the first version came out. A friend let me borrow her copy and after a week, I gave it back to her and said, “For the love of everything, keep this game away from me, it’s taking over my life!”

A few years later, I acquired The Sims 2, and the addiction started all over again, until I purchased a new laptop and discovered the game wouldn’t work with Windows 10. I thought my Sims playing days were over, until I tried The Sims 4.

And now my life is over.

Sure, the game play isn’t as enjoyable as the Sims 2, but the graphics are amazing. The best part about this new version, however, is the updated Create A Sim. With it, you can create unique characters with ease since the interface allows you to tweak even the smallest details.

Jake’s book cover gave me ideas. Crazy ideas. What if I created Sims versions of all the characters in the book? What if I then captured these images and used them for promotion, or swag, or my own personal prurient interests? Yes, yes, YES!

While writing the book, I found photos of models who closely resembled the men in my head. I used these photos to inspire my Sims dudes.

Here’s Horatio:

horatio slice

And, Gunner (who I think is exceptionally adorable):

horatio slice

Before getting them right, I had to download a lot of custom content, especially hair. Gunner, being a huge Horatio fan, wears his hair in a similar style to Horatio, so I used the same hair for both. Creating Snake was even harder. How would I give him his famous metallic silver eyes? Once again, custom content to the rescue. Don’t stare at him too long, he’ll hypnotize you into doing all sorts of things:

horatio slice

Onto Sugar. Finding hair and his pretty green eyes was easy. But what about his gun? Well, let me tell you, those custom content geniuses can make anything!

horatio slice

Once I created the characters, getting decent shots of them in-game proved challenging. I pored over many a DIY tutorial on YouTube and practiced until I got them right. Besides hair, eyes, and skin tones, those CC geniuses create things called “pose packs” which make your characters behave. I even found Horatio a guitar!

horatio slice

There are even pose packs for kissing. And beyond. How did I get shots like this one?

horatio slice

Heh heh. That’s for me to know and you to…nah, I’ll tell you, but you’ll have to wait until August 1st, when I’ll reveal my other secrets to Tabitha Rayne. In the meantime, if you want to read the scene that inspired this:

horatio sliceYou can pick up a copy of Horatio Slice: Guitar Slayer of the Universe.

Buy Links for Horatio Slice

Amazon US | Amazon UK | B&N | Inktera | GoDeeper | Kobo

About Oleander

Oleander Plume lives in Chicago, Illinois, with her husband, two daughters and a pair of obnoxious cats. While she writes in many genres, her favorite is m/m. Or m/m/m. Or m/m/m/m, or … who’s counting, anyway?

Horatio Slice: Guitar Slayer of the Universe (published by Go Deeper Press) is Oleander’s first, full-length novel, but her short stories have appeared in anthologies by Violet Blue, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Shane Allison, Alison Tyler, Neil Plakcy, and F. Leonora Solomon.

Oleander also edited a self-published erotic anthology, titled Chemical [se]X, featuring stories centered around the theme of aphrodisiac chocolates.

For more information you can find through the links below.

Website | Amazon Author Page | Twitter | Facebook | Pinterest

Horatio Slice Online:

GoDeeper Media | GoDeeper Shop | Goodreads

Book Trailer:

The Sleeping Beauty – Erotic Flash Fiction

Masturbation Monday #40

Welcome to this week’s #MasturbationMonday, The Sleeping Beauty. You may notice the image I’ve added below doesn’t look much like inspiration but due to changes in UK laws I am trying to be careful what I host directly on my page. If you’d like to see the inspiration image you just need to click below and it will take you to it.

sleeping beautyI have adored Sub_Bee from the moment I met her in London earlier this year and at the time I had no idea she took such gorgeous pictures. Now I know better, and so do you. She’s our gracious and willing prompt this week. I feel like I’m peeking in on a very private moment. Rawr! This image originally appeared on her blog as On Reflection.

 

Readers – check out the different posts to find something that makes you want to get off.

The Sleeping Beauty

She rolls over, kicking at the duvet wrapped around her legs until it slips to the floor. Once it’s gone she settles back, burying her head in the pillows behind her. Her eyes are still closed and as I watch, her breathing grows steady again, as she drifts back into a deep slumber. Grabbing my towel, I smile at my sleeping beauty, and head to the shower. I envy her ability to sleep anywhere, my first night in a hotel I always toss and turn, napping rather than sleeping but she can sleep anywhere.

When I come out of the shower, she’s still asleep, a knee bent up towards the ceiling, while the other lays on the bed. One hand is cupping her cunt, and the other is over a breast. Neither hand is moving, they’re just resting there. I start to towel off, trying to be quiet so I didn’t wake her. I tried to get some pants out of the case but the lid clicked and she muttered in her sleep, one hand twitching. I wrapped the towel back around my hips, and sat in the chair. I picked up my phone, scrolling through Twitter and Facebook, checking my emails, and doing my usual social media morning catch-up.

I’m so caught up in my phone that it takes a while for her moans to filter through my consciousness. I look over at her, the hand that had just been cupping her cunt, is now pressed against it. She is rubbing the heel of her hand against her clit, while her other hand is massaging her chest, alternating breasts as she pinches and pulls one nipple then the other. Her eyes are still shut and for a moment I wonder if she woke up without me realising but then she starts murmuring under her breath. I can’t quite make out everything she’s saying but she is clearly encouraging someone, “harder” and “yes, more” seem to be getting a lot of use.

I consider joining her, replacing her hand with my own, and waking her up but to be honest I’m enjoying the show. Her hand movements are becoming more frantic, her entire body is writhing on the bed, causing the sheets to wrinkle under her. As she rubs faster, she thrusts her hips upwards, and I lean forward, knowing she’s close to coming. Her teeth are clenched, her breathing erratic, and she pulls a nipple hard; tugging and twisting in a way that looks almost painful. She gives a grunt, releasing her nipple as her body wriggles in a way that reminds me of water rippling. Her hand freezes over her cunt and her eyes fly open. She takes a breath and looks over at me, her brow crinkling as she asks, “How did you get all the way over there?”
I laugh, “I wasn’t in bed with you.” Leaving my towel on the chair I join her on the bed, leaning to kiss her I say, “Good morning, sleeping beauty.”

 

Hope you enjoyed my latest entry for Masturbation Monday, The Sleeping Beauty. You can find more sexy stories by clicking the button below:

sleeping beauty

First Time Girl – Online Dating with SwingTowns

Personal Article

Third instalment of my Online Dating series, First Time Girl, where I talk about the first time I had sex with a girl. Online dating began in the 90’s but it has blossomed in the last ten years with a variety of sites becoming available. I’ve tried it……on multiple occasions. Every so often I re-activate my accounts on dating sites, and see how things go. This has given me a store of tales in my library, so when I got chatting to Jay, who in 1999 founded SwingTowns, the Leading Open, Poly, Kink and Swingers Dating Social Network. I thought it was the perfect time to tell some of those stories I have been saving.

first time girlFirst Time Girl

It’s funny, it took someone else pointing it out for me to realise I was bisexual. It wasn’t that I didn’t know it was a thing but more that it was so far out of my range of experience the possibility never occurred to me. I knew I sometimes fancied women but I also knew I liked men, so I couldn’t be “gay”. So, when I was having a conversation with a friend, and she said “Honey, you’re bisexual.” It was a bit of a personal lightbulb moment. It just made sense to me.

For a long time, I didn’t really do anything about it, and then I met this cute girl at an event and some very PG making out happened. She asked me back to hers, and I’m embarrassed to say I panicked and declined. I didn’t know how to admit to her that I hadn’t had sex with another woman before, or even if I needed to. It was a bit of a defining moment for me, I didn’t want that to happen again.

I went online with a very specific dating plan. I needed to find a lovely lady who was willing to be partly teacher, and partly experiment. I had to word the ‘ad’ really carefully. I didn’t want a relationship I just wanted one night where I could explore this side of my personality, and take my bisexuality from a theoretical idea to a solid, yes this is me. I didn’t think it would be easy to find someone but it was actually much easier than I expected. I was very clear about what this arrangement was about, and I made sure to reinforce the idea of an easy out for either of us, as well as discussing taking it one step at a time.

We arranged to meet in a bar, to give us chance to get acquainted. We got on really well, conversation was flowing easily, and it felt comfortable. When she asked if I was ready to head out, I was happy to agree. I was fine until we got to her flat, at which point my nerves kicked in but she was totally on the ball, and in an effort to ease the pressure she asked if I fancied watching a film.

She put on The Avengers, and we sat down on the sofa together. She snuggled close and held my hand. Not long into the film, I realised she was stroking my leg. She was leaning against my shoulder, and it felt totally natural to turn my face to kiss her. We ignored the film as we made out, when she slipped her hands under my tee, I pulled it off, and she grinned as she reached around to unhook my bra. As she played with my breasts, I tugged at the hem of her shirt lifting it off. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and to me she had the most perfect small boobs. They fit perfectly in my hands, and it was easy to cover them while rubbing my thumb over her nipples.

We moved to the bedroom, and stood at opposite sides of the bed to take off the rest of our clothes. I tried not to stare while she was undressing but I wanted to look at her. I noticed the curve of her hips, the slight bump of her stomach, the lines of muscles in her legs, and when she turned I have to admit I grinned. I am a sucker for a good butt, and hers was lovely. Round and firm…and totally peachy. I did feel a bit pervy just standing there watching her, and remembered I needed to take off my own clothes. I slipped off my skirt and was about to take off my bandelettes (lacy stocking tops without stocking attached) when she spoke, “Can you leave those on?” She was sat in the bed watching me, and I smiled, pulling off my knickers and leaving the stocking tops on. I got into the bed, and she reached down, stroking them, “I love these.” She kissed me.

A few hours later, I propped myself up on one elbow watching her. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing raggedly. I bit my lip, as her breathing steadied and she opened her eyes to look at me. “How do you look so worried? That was great.” I reached out, stroking my finger in a line down her torso, and she pulled me down, hugging me before resting her head on my chest. “Everyone should have a pillow like this for the comedown.” I started giggling, and she bit my nipple making me wiggle. And then we started all over again.

The next morning, she made me coffee and toast, and we chatted about the night before. She was really lovely about it all, asking me if it was what I’d expected, and how I felt. It was funny, the more I tried to articulate my feelings the sillier it seemed that I had been so nervous about the whole thing to start with. When I left, she hugged me, and told me to keep in touch. We’ve met for drinks a few times but never had sex again. She’s kind of become one of my emotional sounding boards, especially with regards to sexual feelings. If I’m ever stuck in my head and being a bit silly, I know I can message her and she will talk me round.

I’m really glad I did it but I don’t think it will stop me being nervous in the future. I get nervous when I meet a new guy so stands to reason it would be the same with a new girl.  So, if you’re looking for people to enjoy an experience like mine, I highly recommend SwingTowns.

 

You can read more of my dating tales here.

 

**Disclaimer – This article was written in conjunction with SwingTowns, The Leading Open, Poly, Kink and Swingers Dating Social Network.

My Sex Hookups – Sponsored Guest Blog

Sponsored Post

Online dating started in the 90’s but in the last ten years it has blossomed with a variety of sites becoming available. I’ve tried it……on multiple occasions. Every so often I re-activate my accounts on dating sites, and see how things go. However, sometimes I’m just not looking for a relationship, sometimes I just really want sex, which is when a company like My Sex Hookups is invaluable.

my sex hookups

My Sex Hookups

My Sex Hookups are an online ‘dating’ company specialising in sex connections. Sex dating can really awaken your inner tiger and roll the years back. Sex dates force you out of your comfort zone and really tap into your inner animal. Thousands of years ago humans didn’t play the social dating games we play now? If there was mutual attraction, they simply had sex! Nowadays we insist on playing games and beating around the bush. Not at MySexHookups! Sex dates are fun because you know what you’re going to get at the end of it. There’s no confusion about why you are both there!

Your online dating profile, and why it should be your own

We all know Google can be our best friend, especially when it comes to finding things out. How to create a CV, how to write a covering letter… those are amongst the many things that we can look up when we don’t know what to write. It is great that we can get access to pre-made templates, letting us to fill the blanks, but that doesn’t always lead to creating something that is really personal. This is definitely the case with online dating profiles: sure you can pick up a template that everyone uses, but how exactly will this make you stand out of the crowd? Maybe it is time you do it all by yourself…

A profile is personal

The first thing, which might sound obvious, is that your dating profile should be about you, not someone else. It is not just the points that are being made but also how they are written. If you usually speak in a certain way, one can expect your writings to reflect you particular tone. So if you’re using something that someone else has written; it won’t sound like you no matter how you move the words around. Okay but a general profile means more mass appeal right? Well not exactly, those things don’t really work that way. Think about it, if everyone is writing the same thing, how to you get to distinguish between the different people. Surely not everyone is the same, and you actually want to find out who they really are. Also, a pre-made profile won’t really adapt to your needs; whether you are looking for a serious partner on Eharmony or you just want women seeking sex on My Sex Hookups or other adult dating sites.

Wrong expectations

Let’s say your language isn’t that good but your profile description is that of a scholar. People who read your profile will have certain expectations, only to be let down once they actually meet you. Consider it false advertising; it might not be intentional but people will feel like they’ve been deceived. This is not a good way to start a date; whether you’re looking for a relationship or even just a bit of adult fun. It’s not that you’re directly lying, but it can be interpreted that way. Using someone else’s pre-made template might not portray who you are and it could actually feel like you are trying to deceive people.

Templates are boring

If you’ve spent any time reading through people’s CV’s, you will appreciate that going through a whole bunch of similar sounding ones is just boring. Ultimately you’re more likely to pick up the one that stands out of the crowd. It is exactly the same thing with dating profiles. Sure the picture does play an important role in differentiating between people; but the description is ultimately the best indicator of potential compatibility. If people all sound the same, you’re only left with not much of a choice. If you want your profile to stand up, forget about how other people do it, just do it in your own way. Use your words, talk about what you think is relevant. If it really doesn’t work, you can always change and edit things until you get a good sense of what works for you.

The picture is important

As mentioned above, your profile picture will be your first distinctive feature. Of course you will want to use your best pic, but that is no good if that picture was taken ten years ago. The picture looks good okay, but your date will figure it out once they meet with you face-to-face. Your best bet if you can’t find a good recent picture of yourself is simply to get one done. Use your selfie camera, or better yet get a friend to take some pictures of you. Just dress how you usually dress, just make sure you’re happy with the photo. As long as it represents you well, then the only thing you can do is wait for people to get back to you if they find you attractive. Patience always works out in the end

 

 

You can read about my dating experiences here.

**Disclaimer – This article was written in conjunction with My Sex Hookups.