Online dating started in the 90’s but in the last ten years it has blossomed with a variety of sites becoming available. I’ve tried it……on multiple occasions. Every so often I re-activate my accounts on dating sites, and see how things go. However, sometimes I’m just not looking for a relationship, sometimes I just really want sex, which is when a company like Sex With No Strings is invaluable.
Sex with No Strings
More people are into casual dating these days than ever before; partially due to all the different dating sites we can choose from online. This culture of hooking up with partners for fun or even brief moments of companionship is now more prevalent and people are really liking the convenience of it all. You can just go online and message people for a good time; and as long as you’re using the right site there is no reason why you can’t be successful at it. The only important thing is to make sure you and your partner set some sort of rules to make sure everything goes smoothly.
Casual dating – how to set your rules
So why should you need to set rules? It feels like a straight forwards deal: you meet up, you have a drink or two and then if all goes well you take this party somewhere else… But the reality is that we all have different preferences, especially when it comes to sex. What one enjoys doing is another one’s pet peeve, so it is important that the two of you communicate with each other. This is the big word which is at the centre of all this article: communication. Because without the saying the most basic things first; a casual encounter can go from good to being an absolute disaster.
So when do you start talking about those ‘rules’? It seems a bit dry and functional to chat people up online, only to break the conversation and say: ‘’okay, I want this but I don’t want that…’’ You’ve barely met and you’re already ordering them around, telling them what to do. The best thing is probably just to start chatting first so you can discover each other a little better. Instead of making it sound like you’re establishing rules, you can start by talking about what you enjoy doing and what you don’t like to do in bed. Then you can ask that person what they think, what they like to do. Make it part of a natural conversation rather than just being bossy; it will encourage natural communication and the two of you will be better off for it.
Rules, plans, guidelines… all those things fall into the same category when meeting someone for casual sex. It’s basically that awkward conversation you need to have before you get started. So one of the main things about sex with no strings is that some people assume it’s going to be the case of meeting / having a drink / running to the next hotel room available. However you can’t take that for granted, especially if you’re new to the whole concept of sex dating. So you’re best off having a conversation about: ‘’Hypothetically if we take this further, how would we go about it?”. Leave no stones unturned, talk about the general aspects and the details. Start with ‘where’, go to ‘what’, then move on to ‘how’.
Where: where will you go if you’re going to have sex? A hotel room? Which hotel? How much can you both afford to spend in a hotel room? Are there other alternatives? The bottom line is that location cost money, but at the same time you want to be in a room where the two of you stand on equal grounds (i.e. not your house or their house).
What: what will you do in bed? Will you sit down, talk dirty and get each other excited? Will it be full sex or just playful touch? Will it be gentle or rough? What should be done and not be done? A lot of questions, but it is worth talking about so either of you doesn’t sign up without knowing what the encounter will actually entail.
How: Who pays for the hotel room. How do you transport yourself there, maybe a taxi? Who brings the condoms, what else do you need to bring to make the encounter more comfortable and more fun? How many gadgets, toys and lubricants of sorts should you bring? Should you establish some sort of safe word in case things get too rough for either one of you? What about discretion? Do you both want to keep your escapade(s) as a secret? If so how do you go about that? Basically, it’s all in the details…
So you get the idea, and there is no way a short article could cover all the details involved in the logistics of adult dating and hooking up. But the baseline principle of communication and setting rules shouldn’t be too difficult to get your head around. Sure you’ll be feeling a little (a lot) excited when you’re going through the process of meeting a potential naughty partner, but preparing as much of it as possible in advance will give you a chance to really make the most of that encounter. As they say: ‘failing to prepare is like preparing to fail’; and no one wants to fail at something that is fun and feels so good when it’s done right.
You can read about MY dating experiences here.
**Disclaimer – This article was written in conjunction with Sex With No Strings.