Appropriate Behaviour?

When you’re blogging (and tweeting) anonymously about sex where is the line on appropriate behaviour, both your own, and other peoples’ towards you? Is there a general line or is each situation judged on it own merit?

I have mentioned before my aversion to unsolicited ‘dick pics’, especially if the only thing you’ve ever said to me before that is “nice tits!” I’m sure there are ladies (and gents) out there who would appreciate the tribute picture from a complete stranger…..I’m not one of them, which is pretty clear if you read my blog, or read my twitter feed. But if we’ve been chatting (an actual conversation not just nice tits – thanks) for a while I’m not averse to taking it to DM and after more chat maybe exchanging some pics.

I have quite a few people I chat with via Twitter DM, and some of those I exchange photos with, but they’re all people I’ve chatted with about other things too. But while I personally have no problem sharing pictures with these people, I sometimes worry if ‘sexting’ and swapping pictures is appropriate behaviour or not. We’re consenting adults and have made it clear what it is and isn’t (as in if we’d ever be likely to meet up or if it is just online flirtation), but is it really appropriate behaviour? If I was in a committed relationship I probably wouldn’t be having most of the DM conversations, (equally if I find the guy is in a relationship and doesn’t have the sort of relationship where it’s ok, I would hesitate about what I share) but I’m single so what’s the harm?  Yet when I really think about it the ‘harm’ comes down to a certain way of thinking, a societal conditioning if you like, because I realised the reason I worry the DMs are inappropriate is due to concerns about ‘leading men on’. It’s horrendous the way we don’t even realised how deeply embedded rape culture is in our psyche.  In all the conversations I have been very careful about talking about meeting in person because it could be taken as blanket ‘consent’.

I don’t want to stop the ‘flirting’ because it’s fun, it turns me on, and I like it but am still proceeding with care because safety is always first.

So that post finished in a different place to where I meant it to go, but not planning to edit it. It was obviously on my mind and needed to come out. So out it is.

What do you think? Do you find yourself in similar situations?



3 thoughts on “Appropriate Behaviour?

  1. I think these are excellent questions, and all of us who flirt on Twitter ought to ask them occasionally. For a start, anyone who sends you unsolicited dick pics is, well, a dick and should be left to his insecurities.

    But flirting online (or anywhere I guess) is part of something that reminds us that we are alive and that our human interactions are also about being reassured that we are desirable, which matters. None of that is without risks, but then again, living is not without risks. Being aware of that is the best possible start. But don’t feel you have to stop.

  2. I’m married. I don’t flirt online. I do have conversations about sexuality and kinky with people, but hopefully in a peer-peer way. If people attempt to flirt, I brush it off or treat it as a joke.

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