Casual Sex – Online Dating with SwingTowns

Personal Article

Second instalment of my Online Dating series, this time looking at Casual Sex. Online dating began in the 90’s, but it has blossomed in the last ten years with a variety of sites becoming available. I’ve tried it……on multiple occasions. Every so often I re-activate my accounts on dating sites, and see how things go. This has given me a store of tales in my library, so when I got chatting to Jay, who in 1999 founded SwingTowns, the Leading Open, Poly, Kink and Swingers Dating Social Network. I thought it was the perfect time to tell some of those stories I have been saving.

casual sex

Casual Sex

I’d never done it before; arranged to meet someone I didn’t know for the single purpose of sex. I’d met people for a date where I was fairly certain the end result might be sex of some description but never when it was just about the sex. This was new and I admit, it made me nervous. Even more so because I wasn’t at home. I was in London for some meetings and decided I might as well make the most of having a lovely hotel room. For me there was something very different about meeting someone just for sex, I’m not even going to pretend I considered anything beyond the physical for first contact, it was all about how they looked and whether I fancied them. Granted once I’d initiated contact, them being able to converse in a way that also made me hot, came into play. I decided against the really hot guy who unfortunately decided to tell me, “any girl who’s willing is good with me”. While he got points for them needing to be willing, I also wanted to feel like the person wanted ME as much as I wanted them, even if it was just for one night.

There were lots of things I worried about going into it, and not all of them (okay, hardly any) were really rational fears. A big part of me was assuming he wouldn’t even turn up, or that he would see me through the window and not come in. I also worried that he wouldn’t look like his photos, and I’d be stuck there trying to work out how to say no without causing a scene. Or on the flip side of that was the worry that he’d see me in person and decide I wasn’t whatever he was expecting from my photos, and he’d make his excuses and leave. Then there was the scariest thought of what if he looks just like his photos, and thinks I do too, and he stays. It may have been what I wanted but it was still nerve-wracking. I have a friend who does this all the time, she never gets nervous. She says it’s because I’m a product of society, she isn’t. But I can work on it, and it will get easier.

One of the things she advised was to make the person I’m meeting agree to an easy out clause. A way for either of us to walk away at any point without any explanation needed. I was really lucky, when I mentioned it to James during our initial conversation he not only agreed but was enthusiastic about it. The other thing my friend advised was meeting in a neutral location for one drink, so it gave us both a chance to make sure we wanted to continue. I figured a drink to calm my nerves would probably be a good idea, so arranged to meet him in the hotel bar.

 

I check the room one last time, making sure all my things are hidden away, and my bags stored in the wardrobe. Satisfied I glance at my reflection again, smoothing down my skirt and wishing I’d brought a different outfit.  I let the door click shut behind me, and head to the bar. I’m about halfway down my glass of prosecco when he walks in. I try not to stare, he looks just like his photos but I have a moment of doubt. He’s gorgeous…and very nicely put-together, I can’t help but wonder what he saw in me.  I’d picked the perfect seat to watch the door from, and when he pauses in the doorway, I raise my hand, and give a slightly self-conscious wave. He smiles and moves through the room, I stand as he reaches me, and we look at each other awkwardly for a second before we hug. The waiter comes over, and he orders a drink. He smiles at me, “You look just like your photo…except for the hair colour, the purple suits you.”
“Thanks, it took me a long time to do it but I really love it.” We make small talk while we finish our drinks, then he suggests getting a bottle of wine to take up to the room, and we head upstairs.

I shouldn’t be but when he kisses me I’m surprised. I know this was the whole point of meeting but it just seems so sudden. I can taste the brandy he drank in the bar, and while my brain is still trying to analyse my body is getting into the action. My hands are round his head, tangled in his hair and holding him close. His hands are cupping my butt, pulling me into him, and when I bite his lip I feel his cock twitch against my hip.

Three hours later we’re lounging naked on the bed, sipping wine. We’re just chatting about general things and I realise we never discussed this; is he going to leave? Or will he stay the night? I kind of hope he stays but not sure how to broach the subject, I make a mental note to check for future arrangements. The conversation is winding down, and we’re both starting to look sleepy. He puts down his wine glass, and turns to me, “Is it okay if I stay?” I’m too relieved to speak so I nod, putting down my empty glass, and sliding down into the bed. He pulls the duvet over us, sliding his arm around me. He barely moves all night, and while I feel comfortable with him there I don’t really sleep properly, just sort of snooze. When the room starts to lighten, I get up to use the bathroom and brush my teeth. Trying not to wake him, I fill the kettle and switch it on.

He looks like he’ll be out for a while longer so I decide to have a shower. I stand under the water admiring the bite marks on my chest and thighs. I’ve just finished washing my hair when he comes into the bathroom, “Need help washing your back?”
I laugh, “Well, it is hard to reach, you’d better climb in.” I’ll be honest I’m not a huge fan of shower sex, I get wobbly enough when I’m laid down, standing on a slippery surface isn’t a great plan. We take turns to wash each other, taking our time to soap up and rinse. I’m feeling more than a little aroused, when he reaches past me to turn off the shower. He puts a towel around his waist, then wraps a second one around me. Helping me out of the shower, he takes my hand to lead me back to the bedroom.

Later, fully dressed, he gives me a long kiss. “This was really fun. Thanks for letting me stay.”
“I’m glad you did. It’s been good.” I hug him and give him a quick kiss. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”
As he walks away I shut the door, and sit down on the bed. Hardly believing I managed to do it, and I had fun, and I feel good about it. When I leave to meet my friend, I am practically floating, and can’t stop the satisfied grin that is plastered across my face.

 

You can read more of my dating tales here.

 

 

**Disclaimer – This article was written in conjunction with SwingTowns, The Leading Open, Poly, Kink and Swingers Dating Social Network.

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