2017 Review

A Round Up of the Year

Welcome to my 2017 Review. This round-up of the year on HornyGeekGirl follows on from last year’s round-up. I’ve included info I got from my stats page as well my personal thoughts on the year for me.

2017 review

2017 Review

I’ve had a strange year. I went vegan again after a decade, I met some amazing new people, I lost a few friends to distance, and yet again I found myself cast in the role of the amazing disposable girl. At this point I really think it must be me, I did as much as I could not to repeat the same mistakes, and yet still find myself ending up in the same place. Not sure what I can do differently going forward, and not sure I can be bothered to keep fighting for people who don’t do the same for me. However, I do have some great friends, and I am actually doing pretty well.

My hair is still PURPLE. I still LOVE it!!!! I feel more like me than I have for a long time.

I’ve stepped up the reviews and writing for my film and book website, and actually have quite a good rhythm down for it, I also launched my food and travel website. I’ve managed to find an e-commerce job I love, it’s currently only temporary but I’m hopeful that I can do what I’ve been asked and it can all turn around and become something great. I’m also trying to pitch to more magazines, online and print, as well as website blogs. It’s something I struggle with but if I am going to make this whole freelance thing work I need to be pushing myself more.

I want to try and post here on HGG at least once a week this year. I lost my way a bit in the sex blogging world, I because disillusioned with some aspects of it. I was so positive after attending Eroticon at the beginning of the year but things went awry, I lost some of my enthusiasm and momentum. I want to try and find that again.

General Stats

  • Overall have had a 17.12% increase in my views from 2016
  • HGG has been viewed from 170 different countries around the World
  • I wrote 47 posts in 2017 which is less than in 2016

Top 5 Viewing Countries

  • United States – 43%
  • United Kingdom – 22%
  • Canada – 6%
  • Australia – 5%
  • Germany – 3%

Top 5 Search Terms

  • Sexy Masturbation Stories
  • Phone Erotic
  • Finger Fucking
  • Satisfyer Pro 2
  • Mutual Masturbation

Top 5 Review Posts

Top 5 Erotica

Top 5 Referrers

For this section I am only counting other bloggers, not websites, or social media referrals. So this 2017 review section is other bloggers whose links have brought people to my website.

 

I hope you enjoyed my 2017 Review. Here’s to a FABULOUS 2018.

Halloween Dating

Dating Advice

This dating article, Halloween Dating was written as a sponsored post but unfortunate circumstances came along and it is no longer a sponsored post. However, I enjoyed writing it so I decided to share it anyway. Hope you have fun reading it.

halloween dating

 

Halloween Dating

I used to love Halloween when I was younger (and it is still my favourite ‘holiday’). It’s my birthday so I always had parties with everyone in fancy dress, or as I got older we would put costumes on to go out. I’ve met a few people I’ve dated when on a Halloween night out, and I’ve also arranged a few first dates for the same night.

If it’s a holiday you like, I think Halloween is a great night for first date because it gives you a pretty good insight into the person. What they dress up as, if they are willing to dress up, how they react to your costume (not to mention to other people’s). If you love Halloween it can give you a good idea what they think of it.

There are a few things to take into consideration when you’re planning a Halloween date. If you want to eat many of the nicer places won’t appreciate your costume, so you may end up eating somewhere you wouldn’t normally consider for a first date. Also, many bars will be busy, this can impact things if you want to have deep and meaningful conversations all night. However, if you just want a fun night with some light “getting to know you” conversation, dancing, and lots of fun it’s a great night.

Your costume has to be chosen with care, you want to enter into the spirit, while trying to be original, and not causing offence. If you don’t want to end up looking bad:

  • Don’t glorify violence against women
  • No problematic historical figures
  • Cultures are not costumes
    • No blackface, brownface, yellowface
    • No religious garb (hijabs, bindis, etc)
    • No native headdresses
    • No gypsy related outfits
  • Gender identity is NOT a costume
  • Sexual identity is NOT a costume

You might think you’re being clever or funny but you’re not. Also, a really bad idea are costumes that resemble outfits worn by problematic groups (KKK, facists, etc). For example, if I turned up and my date was dressed as Hitler I would definitely have an issue with it, and the date would not be going any further. Another good one to avoid is anything where your face is coated with grease-paint. This is just personal preference but there is nothing worse than going in to kiss someone only to end up with a mouthful of face paint…it really does not taste good. However, you can now get the body paints that dry when applied, so they don’t smudge off when you’re kissing…these can also be great fun if you want to pick a costume that requires full body paint (think alien characters from Star Trek) because it doesn’t rub off on your clothes.

If things go well and you decide you want to take your date home, you can keep the Halloween dating spirit going with nightcap cocktails with a spooky theme. Maybe you decorated for the holiday before going out. And for a truly silly sexy twist on the holiday glow in the dark condoms, dildos, and body paint can be a lovely way to add some extra entertainment to the fun.

 

For more of my dating thoughts, click here.

Birthday Presents

Personal Post

There are a few ways you can read the title (birthday presents) of this post, you can read it as birthday gifts or birthday hosts, or birthday show. Well my chances of hosting anything are slim, and I highly doubt anyone is going to be putting me on a show (even a private one), so this is about gifts. I’m trying to make the countdown to my birthday more of a positive thing, as opposed to the usual fill me with dread and spiral my depression thing.

birthday presents

Birthday Presents

The date of my birthday (31st October – yeah, I’m a Halloween baby) is shown clearly on both Twitter and Facebook (possibly also on Instagram too), so around this time of year I always start to get emails and DMs asking me about gifts. Usually I direct people to my amazon wishlist or ask for StarbucksUK e-giftcards. This year I decided to do a dedicated birthday wishlist, and post here. Hopefully all the people who usually message me will see this, and I don’t have the awkward feeling attached to replying to individuals. Click the image below to take you to my birthday wishlist.

birthday presents

If you’ve been following me on Twitter for a while you will know this is usually a tough time of year for me. My dad always made a big deal of birthdays and Christmas, so this time of year always makes me miss him even more than I do normally. I do have some friends who always make sure to do something for my birthday, whether it’s a card or a little present, but it’s not the same as having my dad making a fuss of me. However, silly as it sounds, those little cards and gifts do help make me feel a little less alone, they help me get through it, they cheer me up, even if it’s just for a little while. So to all those who ask and send, THANK YOU. It is very much appreciated.

For those who would rather, you can also use paypal to send cash. My paypal is hornygeekgirl@gmail.com please mark payments as friend/family.

 

 

*You can read more of my personal posts here.

 

Half Night Stands – In Collaboration with Flirtfair

Personal Article

My post today, Half Night Stands was written in conjunction with Flirtfair, the number one spot for dating in NZ and meeting the one for you. When they approached me asking me to write a dating article on Half Night Stands vs One Night Stands I was intrigued. I’d never heard the phrase before but it made a certain kind of sense to me. When I thought about it properly I realised I’ve had more half night stands than I have one night stands.

half night stands

Half Night Stands

I don’t know about anyone else but for me the only reason I have “the swiping app” is for sex. As far as I’m concerned, it’s not a dating app as such, more an easy way to facilitate a hook-up. There’s no need to pretend it’s anything else. If I have an itch that needs scratching it is the perfect solution. It’s like having sex on tap. I can activate my profile (I don’t keep it active all the time) in the morning, and pretty much have a date for that afternoon. I’m not saying any of the guys I hook up with this way are people I can have great conversations with but when I’m doing this I’m not looking for quality chit chat. What I’m looking for is sex, not the cuddle and fall asleep afterwards kind but the fast and furious I need to get off kind.

These hook-ups are usually referred to as one night stands, even though they often don’t last a whole night. So, when I heard the term half night stand it made me smile.  There’s nothing wrong with one night stands, and sometimes I do want to be able to cuddle, fall asleep together, and then have morning sex. However, I am a terrible sleeper; I am restless, I wake up constantly, I move around, I talk, I wheeze, I have nightmares (and occasional night terrors). Throw in the anxiety of sharing a bed with a ‘new person’ and it does not go well. So for me someone who leaves after the sex is done is kind of perfect. They leave and I still get to have a good night’s sleep……well as good as I ever do. This also works well for me because I can have someone over for a session during the day while my housemates are out. This means I’m not causing them any discomfort at having a stranger in the house with them. When I’m away from home I like to have an early evening session, so I have the rest of the evening to relax before bed…or sometimes so I can go out.

The first time I had a half night stand, met up with someone purely for sex, I was very nervous. It went against so much that I had been ‘taught’ was right. Society would consider me a slut (and they would say it in a negative way), they would think I was easy, with loose morals. I still get anxious about the meeting, it still feels like I should be looking for more of a connection but I no longer care what people (or society) think of me. I don’t feel like I am good at relationships, things always seem to go wrong and I end up getting hurt. To protect myself I try to close off my emotions but I still sometimes need sex. The kind that involves human contact, I don’t want to get emotionally involved, I just want sex with someone warm and willing. As long as I am being safe I don’t see anything wrong with that. Women are just as sexual as men (despite society trying to tell us otherwise), and wanting to have sex just for pleasure is totally okay.

The first few times I arranged a half night stand I tried to be subtle about it, not really being specific, just beating around the bush as it were. I realised very quickly that it worked better if I was just upfront about it. Other than basic niceties (saying hello, etc) I didn’t want to chat. The things I felt were important (sexual health status, hard limits, soft limits, likes/dislikes) were discussed via message before we met up, and a time limit for the meet up was set. No more than three hours, agree to wear a condom (which I always provide due to latex allergy issues), and finally not just willing but enthusiastic about going down on me.

It took doing it a few times before I got into a proper rhythm, it was important to be confident about giving direction. When you have a three hour time limit, you need to be sure you are both enjoying yourself, and that you are both getting what you wanted out of the hook-up. This leads me to the really good thing about half night stands, if it’s not working for either of you it is easy to cut your losses and walk away, all you’ve lost is an hour or two at most. You don’t have to lie there unfulfilled while they fall asleep, and desperately trying to figure out how to decline morning sex without them getting mad.

I like the simplicity I find in half night stands, there is no illusion about what you are there for. There is no need to pretend you will call. No need to make small talk. Or act like you care about their plans for the future.  For me it is purely about the physical act of sex, it is about attending to an itch that my sex toy collection can’t always scratch.

I definitely prefer half night stands to one night stands, even when they don’t happen at night.

 

 

You can read more of my dating tales here.

 

**Disclaimer – This article was commisioned by Flirtfair, the number one spot for dating in NZ and meeting the one for you.

Writing is Work

I toyed with the idea of whether or not to publish this writing is work post but I feel things have been said about me that I need to address. I am not naming names, I don’t want people to go look for them and say something in my defence. I do not want them to feel “bullied” because people agree with me. Just as I don’t feel bullied by those who don’t. So here goes…

writing is work

Writing is Work

We live in a capitalist society, there is no getting away from that. Everything costs money, we all have bills to pay. I have to cover rent, household bills, website costs, work costs, food, etc. The same as everyone else does. I would love to not have to worry about money, to live in a place where I could do the work I wanted purely because I wanted to, without having to think about whether I can afford to pay my bills this month. Where I don’t have to weigh up the financial ramifications of accepting a job that I want to do.

As a freelancer, my income comes from a number of streams. My biggest income is from copywriting work I do for other people (both in and outside this industry). This is pretty much 90% companies who have seen my websites and contacted me to commission work on that basis. They want my voice, talking about whatever subject they have in mind. This Writing is work.

My next biggest income is from the advertisers I have. These are companies who pay for an advertising banner on my website sidebar. This income is the one that pays for the content on here. Every post I do (including reviews, erotica, etc) is made possible by advertisers whose support means I can pay my bills and write for HGG. This is a reciprocal arrangement, the more I write (ie, the more fresh content I produce), the more visitors my site gets, and the greater number of people who will see their ad. This writing is work.

Despite doing all this work, I still have months where I am panicking because it’s two days before my direct debits are due out and I don’t have enough money to cover them. You might think, she just needs to learn to budget but it’s hard to budget when your income only just covers your outgoings every month. Maybe you’d say I should save but I have nothing to save. If I have a spare £5 it stays in my account so that next month I might be able to get a little more ahead. However, chances are it won’t happen because freelance doesn’t always mean regular work, it means taking little bit jobs just so you have money to live.

This often means when big events are happening (such as Eroticon or Woodhull), ones that are a good networking opportunity. A chance to connect with companies and writers, and to develop working relationships that might help me generate more income, I sometimes have to ask companies to sponsor my attendance at these events. Contrary to what seems to be the popular belief, when I contact these companies to  ask them if they would be willing to sponsor me to attend an event, I do not expect them to just give me money and get nothing in return. I work hard to come up with a package (blog posts, advertising, social media,etc) that gives them something in return for their sponsorship. It is a reciprocal agreement.I am not asking for a handout. And if they say no, they don’t have the budget, I respect that. It is a business decision, and I understand it may not work for all companies. This writing is work.

This brings me to my last point. I would like to clarify something about being a Sex Toy Reviewer (and this is also why I don’t do as many reviews anymore).

As a reviewer I don’t “accept” free sex toys. These companies choose to send me these toys, and they are sent to me in exchange for a review. When I am reviewing a toy I make sure to do a thorough job, not just in testing for use but in checking materials, stats, taking photographs, etc. I make note of problems and contact the company in case it is a faulty unit. A review takes me at least 10-15hrs of work. That’s 15 hours work spent on a toy that costs a company £50-100. It’s time I’m not spending doing work that will actually pay my bills. Being sent sex toys is great but I can’t pay my bills with sex toys, last I checked Tesco and Asda aren’t accepting them in exchange for shopping. This writing is work.

To redress this balance many sex toy reviewers use affiliate links, and will often only accept items from companies who have affiliate programs or manufacturers whose product can be purchased through a company with an affiliate program. I choose not to use affiliate links because I have an agreement with my advertisers saying I won’t. However, even for bloggers who do this the income isn’t regular or guaranteed. It is this uncertainty that means bloggers have to find other income streams.