Recently Charlie of Sex Blog (of sorts) asked if anyone wanted to collaborate on a post about the five things men should know about sex. I thought it sounded like fun so I said I’d love to. However, when it came to writing the five things I really struggled. It felt like everything I came up with was really just facets of the same thing. And I was struck by just how much past experience can influence how we think and feel about things.
The one thing I came up with was to tell men that sex isn’t just about penetration, and it isn’t all over when they come. I know this sounds unfair, especially because I know recently I have met a lot of men (virtually but it still counts right?) who know this and are not only respectful of it but very willing to make sure their chosen partner is enjoying sex as much as they are, and to make sure she comes again and again. But my history with men is not like that, with the exception of the last guy, my previous ex’s have been all about their pleasure, and all about penetration…..one even told me it didn’t count as sex if he didn’t “get it in there”. He’s the same prince who’s to blame for my issues with giving blow jobs, forcing more than I was comfortable with, even after I once threw up on him. 🙁
But I want to put the past, in the past, I want to collect new experiences that show me not all men are like that, I made a start with the ex who turned out to be a lying, cheating dickwad, but it’s been a year and I am more than reading for the next chapter. I want long slow sex, the kind where you spend hours exploring each other’s hotspots. I want fast and furious sex where you are so turned on you’re tearing each others clothes off and shagging furiously within minutes of walking through the door. I want to deep throat a guy without having a panic attack, or throwing up. I want to fall asleep in a sweaty satisfied tangle and wake up as the little spoon with a hard-on pressed against my back. I want…..so many things. 🙂