Friend – A Wicked Wednesday Personal Post on Friendship

Wicked Wednesday

Welcome to my 30th post for Rebel’s Notes‘ Wicked Wednesday, Friend. You don’t have to use the prompt but I like the inspiration, and challenge. The prompt for this week was:

friend

This prompt is another suggestion of the lovely Charlie Powell of Sex Blog of Sorts: Friend.

Do you have a special friend? One, more? How did you become friends? How do you classify friendship? Did you have friendships that ended? Why? How did the end of the friendship affect you? Or maybe you have a friend with benefits? Tell us more about that?

Come on, share your sexy stories, whether fiction or fact!

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© Rebel’s Notes

Friend

This is a tough one. I have friends, I have friends with benefits, and I have acquaintances. I also have friends I no longer speak to.

The oldest friend I have is someone I met when I was around 24ish. We met online via a chat forum for Lush Cosmetics. I consider her one of my best friends, she knows all about this site and what I do. She knows who I am, and she still loves me for me. I have another really good friend I met through the same forum, we used to live in the same city and went to the cinema together. Now we live at opposite sides of the country, and don’t get to see each other very often. I went to her wedding last year, and am hoping to see her next time I’m in her city.

There was a person I thought of as my best friend who I had known since I was a kid but we fell out about five years ago. This was way before I started sex blogging but I realised she was embarrassed by me, by things I would do. Even though she told me she cared about me and that we were friends I slowly came to understand that true friends accept you for who you are, they’re not embarrassed by you, and if they are then maybe the friendship isn’t right. What was a friendship I cherished had become toxic, had turned into something that just worked to make me feel bad about myself. It took a long time for me to finally acknowledge that friendship for what it was and walk away.

I have a few friends who were acquaintances but who managed to build enough trust to become friends. I do tend to trust quite easily but have been burned a few times, and each time that happens it makes me more cautious next time. Unfortunately, this tends to impact people who don’t deserve to be mistrusted, people who wouldn’t lie to get what they want. My friend with benefits is one of those people; we transitioned from acquaintances to friends, and then there was a lot of discussion and negotiation before we added the ‘benefits’. I was so afraid of spoiling the friendship, and of getting hurt that he had to be really patient with me……and he was.

It’s nice when we find friends who are actually friends, the people who value our connection and want to keep that. It makes up for the ones who are only interested in what they can get out of it. I want to trust people more and the good ones restore my faith in people but the bad ones make me doubt myself. Make me doubt my instincts.  Sometimes my instincts are telling me one thing but instead of listening to them, I allow myself to be swayed and I let bad things run longer than I should. There are ‘relationships’ where I know I should have walked away months before I did but I wanted to believe in the person so I kept letting things go, I kept accepting their behaviour. I should not have done that I deserve better, and I will fight to have it.

 

 

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10 thoughts on “Friend – A Wicked Wednesday Personal Post on Friendship

  1. Well I am honoured to count you as a friend even though you went and moved so far away and we don’t chat as often as we should but I will message you later partly about something you discuss in this blog lol 😁

  2. Friendships can be complicated, even though they don’t have to be. I have never had many friends, and I have been hurt many times by those I considered my friends, because I trust too easily. Thankfully I have a handful of people who I can call my friends and blindly trust.

    Rebel xox

    • They really can, and people hardly ever seem to understand the heartbreak of being betrayed by someone you thought was a friend. I’m glad you found people who deserved your trust. xx

  3. I have too, unfortunately, encountered many ‘friendships’ that were one-sided with the other person just appearing when they wanted something. I trust very easily too and have had my fingers burned.

    There’s nowt as queer as folk, eh?! x

    • Yeah, exactly those friendships. And often we don’t see how one-sided they are until we’re way too deep in to get out easily.

      Yeah, people are strange things. xx

  4. I think my teen years when I was bullied has made me very cautious about who I trust and who I let it as my friends. In a weird way it is stood me in good stead as an adult as I feel that being cautious has meant I have avoided (not completely mind you) misplacing my trust

    Mollyxxx

  5. A very thoughtful post. It made me look at myself. I have had different friends at different stages of my life. Thankfully I have never had to think too much about whether I trusted people or not. No friend has ever been nasty to me apart from my first girlfriend who after we broke up went round telling people I’d been a virgin when I’d met her. She was 18 and I was 25. It was a long time ago now. These days I am married and just have one friend who I met at work and we have a cup of tea together once a month.

    • Thank you.

      I’m sorry, your first girlfriend sounds like a bit of a horror. I’m glad you seem to have come through the experience well though.

      If it’s a good friend that’s all you need. I’m lucky if i manage to see my two best friends once a year but we message a few times a week. 🙂

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