This prompt is another suggestion of the lovely Charlie Powell of Sex Blog of Sorts: Friend.
Do you have a special friend? One, more? How did you become friends? How do you classify friendship? Did you have friendships that ended? Why? How did the end of the friendship affect you? Or maybe you have a friend with benefits? Tell us more about that?
Come on, share your sexy stories, whether fiction or fact!
This is a tough one. I have friends, I have friends with benefits, and I have acquaintances. I also have friends I no longer speak to.
The oldest friend I have is someone I met when I was around 24ish. We met online via a chat forum for Lush Cosmetics. I consider her one of my best friends, she knows all about this site and what I do. She knows who I am, and she still loves me for me. I have another really good friend I met through the same forum, we used to live in the same city and went to the cinema together. Now we live at opposite sides of the country, and don’t get to see each other very often. I went to her wedding last year, and am hoping to see her next time I’m in her city.
There was a person I thought of as my best friend who I had known since I was a kid but we fell out about five years ago. This was way before I started sex blogging but I realised she was embarrassed by me, by things I would do. Even though she told me she cared about me and that we were friends I slowly came to understand that true friends accept you for who you are, they’re not embarrassed by you, and if they are then maybe the friendship isn’t right. What was a friendship I cherished had become toxic, had turned into something that just worked to make me feel bad about myself. It took a long time for me to finally acknowledge that friendship for what it was and walk away.
I have a few friends who were acquaintances but who managed to build enough trust to become friends. I do tend to trust quite easily but have been burned a few times, and each time that happens it makes me more cautious next time. Unfortunately, this tends to impact people who don’t deserve to be mistrusted, people who wouldn’t lie to get what they want. My friend with benefits is one of those people; we transitioned from acquaintances to friends, and then there was a lot of discussion and negotiation before we added the ‘benefits’. I was so afraid of spoiling the friendship, and of getting hurt that he had to be really patient with me……and he was.
It’s nice when we find friends who are actually friends, the people who value our connection and want to keep that. It makes up for the ones who are only interested in what they can get out of it. I want to trust people more and the good ones restore my faith in people but the bad ones make me doubt myself. Make me doubt my instincts. Sometimes my instincts are telling me one thing but instead of listening to them, I allow myself to be swayed and I let bad things run longer than I should. There are ‘relationships’ where I know I should have walked away months before I did but I wanted to believe in the person so I kept letting things go, I kept accepting their behaviour. I should not have done that I deserve better, and I will fight to have it.