Identity – Wicked Wednesday

Wicked Wednesday

Welcome to my 26th post for Rebel’s Notes‘ Wicked Wednesday, Identity. You don’t have to use the prompt but I like the inspiration, and challenge. The prompt for this week was:


In the (erotic) blogging community people frequently hide their real identities. This week we want to hear your thoughts on this…


Back in October I wrote a post for Wicked Wednesday about feeling like I was two people. Like I had two completely different personalities. I talked about how I wanted to combine those two aspects into one person. Part of that is all about identity but it’s not the reason my identity is secret.

When I first started this website I chose to be anonymous because I worried about what people would think, then things imploded with my “family” and I didn’t want to use my real name any more than I had to because I didn’t want them to be able to find me.

When my dad died, I felt like I’d lost all my family. My “sisters” stopped talking to me, they stopped visiting, stopped calling, stopped everything. I tried to stay in touch but after a while I figured if they weren’t interested why should I bother. I spent a lot of time talking to my counsellor about how I felt, and she told me I didn’t have to accept them in my life. That I could walk away, was something that hadn’t occurred to me before. They were technically my family, and even though they were treating me like shit they were still my family. But my counsellor explained that family is just an accident of birth or marriage, you don”t have to put up with the way people treat you, no matter who they are.

Armed with that knowledge I set about making changes, I put plans in place so I could leave, and when I did leave I didn’t tell them. I had the same phone number for six months after I left, and in that time I didn’t hear anything, from any of them; not a text, not a call, nothing. So when I changed my number I didn’t tell them. I doubt they’ve even noticed.

I do know I am happier now. I still use my legal name where I have to but most of the time I use Cheryl. All my friends know what I do, know what I write, most of them even know my url. And none of them care, they still love me… fact most of them think it’s kind of cool. Lol.

I kind of feel like my identity is still fluid but it’s getting there.


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4 thoughts on “Identity – Wicked Wednesday

  1. Family can be such a bugger. I love that you counselor said: “… family is just an accident of birth or marriage, you don”t have to put up with the way people treat you, no matter who they are.” I should remember this when dealing with my brother, or deciding to cut him out of my life. Time will tell…

    Rebel xox

    • Yeah, it was a bit of a revelation. They might be people I share blood with but that doesn’t make them family. My family are the people who are actually there for me. Good luck with your brother. Do what you need to for you, if the relationship is toxic it’s okay to walk away. xx

  2. What your counsellor said about family is something that I will keep in the back of my mind and remind myself of from time to time when I get stressed about my relatives x

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