In the (erotic) blogging community people frequently hide their real identities. This week we want to hear your thoughts on this…
Back in October I wrote a post for Wicked Wednesday about feeling like I was two people. Like I had two completely different personalities. I talked about how I wanted to combine those two aspects into one person. Part of that is all about identity but it’s not the reason my identity is secret.
When I first started this website I chose to be anonymous because I worried about what people would think, then things imploded with my “family” and I didn’t want to use my real name any more than I had to because I didn’t want them to be able to find me.
When my dad died, I felt like I’d lost all my family. My “sisters” stopped talking to me, they stopped visiting, stopped calling, stopped everything. I tried to stay in touch but after a while I figured if they weren’t interested why should I bother. I spent a lot of time talking to my counsellor about how I felt, and she told me I didn’t have to accept them in my life. That I could walk away, was something that hadn’t occurred to me before. They were technically my family, and even though they were treating me like shit they were still my family. But my counsellor explained that family is just an accident of birth or marriage, you don”t have to put up with the way people treat you, no matter who they are.
Armed with that knowledge I set about making changes, I put plans in place so I could leave, and when I did leave I didn’t tell them. I had the same phone number for six months after I left, and in that time I didn’t hear anything, from any of them; not a text, not a call, nothing. So when I changed my number I didn’t tell them. I doubt they’ve even noticed.
I do know I am happier now. I still use my legal name where I have to but most of the time I use Cheryl. All my friends know what I do, know what I write, most of them even know my url. And none of them care, they still love me…..in fact most of them think it’s kind of cool. Lol.
I kind of feel like my identity is still fluid but it’s getting there.
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