Non-Monogamy – Wicked Wednesday #11

Wicked Wednesday

Welcome to my 11th post for Rebel’s Notes‘ Wicked Wednesday, Non-Monogamy. You don’t have to use the prompt but I like the inspiration, and challenge. The prompt for this week was:

This week’s prompt might have the potential to be a bit explosive…

Monogamy is a form of relationship in which an individual has only one partner during his or her lifetime or at any one time (serial monogamy), as compared to polygyny, polyandry, or polyamory.

non-monogamyIt seems all of us have something to say about monogamy, and I would love to have some of those thoughts shared. What are your thoughts on this? Are you monogamous, or are you looking for a monogamous relationship? Do you have your own definition for monogamy or do you maybe have a new word to describe the relationship you are in. Share your thoughts…

(Source quote: Wikipedia)
(Source image: guff.com)

Non-Monogamy

I was intending to continue my story, and it would have fit quite well with this prompt but instead I am going to waffle on about monogamy (or rather non-monogamy), what it means to me, and how that is changing.

My parents (and every other couple I knew until very recently) were monogamous. This meant that for a long time I thought that was the only way to be. I’d see couples who seemed really happy fall apart because one or other of them had ‘cheated’. Then I started this blog, and met so many people who did things differently, and the more I found out about non-monogamy the more I wondered how many of those couples might still be together if society wasn’t telling them that monogamy is the only option.

I know I can be quite a jealous person but this is more to do with not knowing where I stand, and having self-esteem issues that mean I always assume someone is with me because they don’t have any other option. I know. I know.  I always thought non-monogamy wouldn’t work for me because of that tendency to jealousy but the more I hear about it, and read about it, and talk about it the more I think it could be an option. Or if not an option as such, then something I wouldn’t completely discount as a possibility.

I also think that while labels can be helpful, and have their place, you shouldn’t need to define your relationship for anyone else. If what you are doing is working for you, and no-one is getting hurt then I don’t see a problem. I’m sure there are people out there living like this without knowing the name for it. That doesn’t make it any less valid as a choice.

Am I looking for a monogamous relationship? I honestly don’t know. Would I like a committed relationship? Yes, I would. But I don’t know what form it will take until it actually happens.

 

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11 thoughts on “Non-Monogamy – Wicked Wednesday #11

  1. This: “I also think that while labels can be helpful, and have their place, you shouldn’t need to define your relationship for anyone else. If what you are doing is working for you, and no-one is getting hurt then I don’t see a problem. I’m sure there are people out there living like this without knowing the name for it. That doesn’t make it any less valid as a choice.”

    You are so right… each of us should define it for ourselves and not let others do it for us.

    Great post!

    Rebel xox

  2. Yes I think you are so right . . . commitment we do to anything we truly believe in . . . is far more important than labels or being told we must conform to what others feel is the norm. It is what is right, and works, for ourselves . . . and our loved ones . . . that should be the most important thing.
    Xxx – K

  3. I think we all do things because we think we have to. Some keep to traditions and norms because it’s expected. Some try new things because they think it’s expected. I was part of the latter. I realized that I fit the traditions and the norms, but I find most of those I know in my community do not, and that’s cool too.

    • That’s it exactly. You do what works for you, and whoever you’re doing it with. 🙂 HGG.xx

  4. HGG, your last line pretty much nails it home for me: “But I don’t know what form it will take until it actually happens.” Figuring it out is, I think, part of the whole experience, and to say we’re one way but not another puts ourselves in boxes that may not fit later, since life is constantly in flux. For example, I feel I’m the monogamous type, but I don’t know that I’ll always feel that way (and certainly haven’t been that way in points of my past), so who knows? 🙂 I really enjoyed your reflection on this! XX

  5. This is so similar to my thoughts, it was only in the past few years that I’ve understood there are other relationship styles out there.

    I would love to have a non-monogamous relationship, however my jealous issues, which all stem from a lack of self esteem, prevent that being from possible right now. But what we have suits us just fine, who knows how we will evolve in the future 🙂

    • Thank you.

      For me I think getting over the jealousy will definitely be a case of needing to know EXACTLY where I stand in that persons……affections.

      I’m definitely curious to see where my thinking (and feelings) on this take me.

      Especially as I am now questioning my sexuality as well. Lol.

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