Sex with No Strings

Sponsored Post

Online dating started in the 90’s but in the last ten years it has blossomed with a variety of sites becoming available. I’ve tried it……on multiple occasions. Every so often I re-activate my accounts on dating sites, and see how things go. However, sometimes I’m just not looking for a relationship, sometimes I just really want sex, which is when a company like Sex With No Strings is invaluable.

sex with no strings

Sex with No Strings

More people are into casual dating these days than ever before; partially due to all the different dating sites we can choose from online. This culture of hooking up with partners for fun or even brief moments of companionship is now more prevalent and people are really liking the convenience of it all. You can just go online and message people for a good time; and as long as you’re using the right site there is no reason why you can’t be successful at it. The only important thing is to make sure you and your partner set some sort of rules to make sure everything goes smoothly.

Casual dating – how to set your rules

So why should you need to set rules? It feels like a straight forwards deal: you meet up, you have a drink or two and then if all goes well you take this party somewhere else… But the reality is that we all have different preferences, especially when it comes to sex. What one enjoys doing is another one’s pet peeve, so it is important that the two of you communicate with each other. This is the big word which is at the centre of all this article: communication. Because without the saying the most basic things first; a casual encounter can go from good to being an absolute disaster.

So when do you start talking about those ‘rules’? It seems a bit dry and functional to chat people up online, only to break the conversation and say: ‘’okay, I want this but I don’t want that…’’ You’ve barely met and you’re already ordering them around, telling them what to do. The best thing is probably just to start chatting first so you can discover each other a little better. Instead of making it sound like you’re establishing rules, you can start by talking about what you enjoy doing and what you don’t like to do in bed. Then you can ask that person what they think, what they like to do. Make it part of a natural conversation rather than just being bossy; it will encourage natural communication and the two of you will be better off for it.

Rules, plans, guidelines… all those things fall into the same category when meeting someone for casual sex. It’s basically that awkward conversation you need to have before you get started. So one of the main things about sex with no strings is that some people assume it’s going to be the case of meeting / having a drink / running to the next hotel room available. However you can’t take that for granted, especially if you’re new to the whole concept of sex dating. So you’re best off having a conversation about: ‘’Hypothetically if we take this further, how would we go about it?”. Leave no stones unturned, talk about the general aspects and the details. Start with ‘where’, go to ‘what’, then move on to ‘how’.

Where: where will you go if you’re going to have sex? A hotel room? Which hotel? How much can you both afford to spend in a hotel room? Are there other alternatives? The bottom line is that location cost money, but at the same time you want to be in a room where the two of you stand on equal grounds (i.e. not your house or their house).

What: what will you do in bed? Will you sit down, talk dirty and get each other excited? Will it be full sex or just playful touch? Will it be gentle or rough? What should be done and not be done? A lot of questions, but it is worth talking about so either of you doesn’t sign up without knowing what the encounter will actually entail.

How: Who pays for the hotel room. How do you transport yourself there, maybe a taxi? Who brings the condoms, what else do you need to bring to make the encounter more comfortable and more fun? How many gadgets, toys and lubricants of sorts should you bring? Should you establish some sort of safe word in case things get too rough for either one of you? What about discretion? Do you both want to keep your escapade(s) as a secret? If so how do you go about that? Basically, it’s all in the details…

So you get the idea, and there is no way a short article could cover all the details involved in the logistics of adult dating and hooking up. But the baseline principle of communication and setting rules shouldn’t be too difficult to get your head around. Sure you’ll be feeling a little (a lot) excited when you’re going through the process of meeting a potential naughty partner, but preparing as much of it as possible in advance will give you a chance to really make the most of that encounter. As they say: ‘failing to prepare is like preparing to fail’; and no one wants to fail at something that is fun and feels so good when it’s done right.

 

 

You can read about MY dating experiences here.

**Disclaimer – This article was written in conjunction with Sex With No Strings.

 

 

WeVibe Rave

Internal Vibrator

The WeVibe Rave is one of the vibrators from luxury sex toy manufacturer We-Vibe. This company makes one of my all-time favourite ‘pocket’ vibes, the Touch, it is the toy I reach for most often. They seem to really understand these things, and try their best to deliver what people want. And more importantly they appear to get that not every vibe will work for everyone, so they put out what might look like similar products but that work very differently.

Rave’s unusual asymmetric shape makes finding your G-spot effortless. Press down gently on the ergonomic handle for firm, satisfying G-spot pressure.

A new dimension to internal stimulation. Add a twist to feel Rave’s pleasure edges stimulate the most sensitive parts of your vagina. Or use a pleasure edge for precise external stimulation.
Rave’s deep, rumbly vibrations satisfy your G-spot. The powerful vibrations are also perfect for clitoral stimulation.
From WeVibe
wevibe rave

WeVibe Rave

Before receiving the WeVibe Rave I was curious about it. The unusual shape and design combined to make me interested in finding out how it worked. I thought it was double-ended but it isn’t, and the insertable part is the wider end.  I sometimes have a problem with girth, so I was a bit worried about this.
wevibe rave

In the box you get the Rave, USB charging cable, storage bag, instructions, and a sachet of lube. The charging cable connects with one of those push pins. I have to admit I don’t really like them, I always feel like I’m going to break the toy, and it’s never clear (especially with longer pins) how far in you are supposed to push them. I also think this connection may be the reason the Rave is only splash-proof and not fully waterproof, something I find quite disappointing. You can still wash it with soap and water, and you’d probably get away with using it in the shower but it isn’t safe to fully submerse it for using in the bath. It’s a fairly small niggle but it is there. I just can’t understand why when so many of their other toys are waterproof they made this only splash-proof.

wevibe rave wevibe rave

I love how tactile WeVibe toys are, they make me want to pick them up and touch them. The silicone is matte finish, and it feels almost silky under your fingers. However, without lube it does have a slight drag to it, which I tend to find a lot with matte finish toys. There is only one word I could find to adequately cover how I felt about the shape, it’s weird. I think they have based the shape off the Laid D2 (who the WeVibe parent company acquired), it is asymmetrical, which may bother some people but I found it quirky, and I could immediately see the potential for g-spot stimulation.

wevibe rave wevibe rave

wevibe rave wevibe rave

I needed some warming up before using the WeVibe Rave internally but luckily it is perfectly designed to also be clit friendly (whether intentionally or not). It is very easy to use it externally, and then slide it down to use internally. I really liked being able to do this. It’s not a big deal but usually I end up having to mess around juggling two vibrators, and trying not to knock either on the floor. This was a nice bit of relief from that. The shape worked best for me when inserted, and then either rocked with the handle, or twisted. This gave my g-spot two differing sensations, and playing about with them was a lot of fun, I still can’t decide which sensation I liked best, the pressure or the rub.

wevibe rave

WeVibe describe this as whisper quiet. I’m not quite sure I can agree with that but it was quiet enough that it wasn’t obtrusive, and it definitely couldn’t be heard from another room. It took about 90 mins to fully charge, and that lasted a good few hours (it actually still has life now and it’s been used a lot). Like the other newer items in the WeVibe range, the Rave is compatible with the WeVibe app. I didn’t play with this much because I need both hand to hold my phone but I also need a hand to hold the vibrator.

wevibe rave

Overall

I loved the Rave. From my first use it earned it’s place in my favourite toys drawer alongside my Touch. I’m not sure the shape will work for everyone but for me it was really good.

 

*I was given the Rave by We-Vibe in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. This review does NOT contain affiliate links.

 

Half Night Stands – In Collaboration with Flirtfair

Personal Article

My post today, Half Night Stands was written in conjunction with Flirtfair, the number one spot for dating in NZ and meeting the one for you. When they approached me asking me to write a dating article on Half Night Stands vs One Night Stands I was intrigued. I’d never heard the phrase before but it made a certain kind of sense to me. When I thought about it properly I realised I’ve had more half night stands than I have one night stands.

half night stands

Half Night Stands

I don’t know about anyone else but for me the only reason I have “the swiping app” is for sex. As far as I’m concerned, it’s not a dating app as such, more an easy way to facilitate a hook-up. There’s no need to pretend it’s anything else. If I have an itch that needs scratching it is the perfect solution. It’s like having sex on tap. I can activate my profile (I don’t keep it active all the time) in the morning, and pretty much have a date for that afternoon. I’m not saying any of the guys I hook up with this way are people I can have great conversations with but when I’m doing this I’m not looking for quality chit chat. What I’m looking for is sex, not the cuddle and fall asleep afterwards kind but the fast and furious I need to get off kind.

These hook-ups are usually referred to as one night stands, even though they often don’t last a whole night. So, when I heard the term half night stand it made me smile.  There’s nothing wrong with one night stands, and sometimes I do want to be able to cuddle, fall asleep together, and then have morning sex. However, I am a terrible sleeper; I am restless, I wake up constantly, I move around, I talk, I wheeze, I have nightmares (and occasional night terrors). Throw in the anxiety of sharing a bed with a ‘new person’ and it does not go well. So for me someone who leaves after the sex is done is kind of perfect. They leave and I still get to have a good night’s sleep……well as good as I ever do. This also works well for me because I can have someone over for a session during the day while my housemates are out. This means I’m not causing them any discomfort at having a stranger in the house with them. When I’m away from home I like to have an early evening session, so I have the rest of the evening to relax before bed…or sometimes so I can go out.

The first time I had a half night stand, met up with someone purely for sex, I was very nervous. It went against so much that I had been ‘taught’ was right. Society would consider me a slut (and they would say it in a negative way), they would think I was easy, with loose morals. I still get anxious about the meeting, it still feels like I should be looking for more of a connection but I no longer care what people (or society) think of me. I don’t feel like I am good at relationships, things always seem to go wrong and I end up getting hurt. To protect myself I try to close off my emotions but I still sometimes need sex. The kind that involves human contact, I don’t want to get emotionally involved, I just want sex with someone warm and willing. As long as I am being safe I don’t see anything wrong with that. Women are just as sexual as men (despite society trying to tell us otherwise), and wanting to have sex just for pleasure is totally okay.

The first few times I arranged a half night stand I tried to be subtle about it, not really being specific, just beating around the bush as it were. I realised very quickly that it worked better if I was just upfront about it. Other than basic niceties (saying hello, etc) I didn’t want to chat. The things I felt were important (sexual health status, hard limits, soft limits, likes/dislikes) were discussed via message before we met up, and a time limit for the meet up was set. No more than three hours, agree to wear a condom (which I always provide due to latex allergy issues), and finally not just willing but enthusiastic about going down on me.

It took doing it a few times before I got into a proper rhythm, it was important to be confident about giving direction. When you have a three hour time limit, you need to be sure you are both enjoying yourself, and that you are both getting what you wanted out of the hook-up. This leads me to the really good thing about half night stands, if it’s not working for either of you it is easy to cut your losses and walk away, all you’ve lost is an hour or two at most. You don’t have to lie there unfulfilled while they fall asleep, and desperately trying to figure out how to decline morning sex without them getting mad.

I like the simplicity I find in half night stands, there is no illusion about what you are there for. There is no need to pretend you will call. No need to make small talk. Or act like you care about their plans for the future.  For me it is purely about the physical act of sex, it is about attending to an itch that my sex toy collection can’t always scratch.

I definitely prefer half night stands to one night stands, even when they don’t happen at night.

 

 

You can read more of my dating tales here.

 

**Disclaimer – This article was commisioned by Flirtfair, the number one spot for dating in NZ and meeting the one for you.

Elust 97 – Community Round-Up

Modesty Ablaze Elust 97

Photo courtesy of Modesty Ablaze

Welcome to Elust 97

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #97 Start with the rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

The Confessional

A MISTRESS UNSEEN

Wrapped around his finger

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Counting

The Storyteller’s Conundrum

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Rainy Day Lover

 

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Fiction

The Sleeping Beauty
Longing
Broken to Be ~ Part 7 – Conclusion
A good man, with a belt

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

The Scene That Almost Never Happened
Sticky fingers

Erotic Non-Fiction

The Art Class Model
Bondage Alfresco Style ~ Collared & tied.
Welcome Home Lazy Vanilla Lovemaking
The Happiest Place On Earth?

Poetry

Burn Together

Writing About Writing

Smut Marathon 2.0

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Sometimes I feel this is all I’m good for

 

 

 

Elust 88

Pro Deluxe from Satisfyer

Clitoral Stimulator

Review of the Satisfyer Pro Deluxe. I loved the Satisfyer Pro 2 but what did I think of the Pro Deluxe?

The refined, luxury vibrator Satisfyer Pro Deluxe to apply brings a touch of elegance to the bedroom. This handy little gem stimulates contact-free with exciting pressure waves and lies nicely in the hand thanks to the oval shape. The time and place are irrelevant thanks to rechargeable batteries.

From Satisfyer.com

 

Satisfyer Pro Deluxe

I wanted to love the Pro Deluxe, before I got it I loved the look. The shape seemed to be better, and it looked nicer than previous Satisfyer models. When it arrived I wasn’t disappointed. The size of it felt perfect in my hand, and I liked the shape, it was comfortable to hold, and sat nicely against my body.

pro deluxe   pro deluxe

I charged the Pro Deluxe (it comes with a magnetic USB charging cable) for about 6 hours when I first received it. But after that first charge it has only needed 60-90 minutes to charge up, and each charge gives 1-2hrs play time (roughly).

pro deluxe

The Pro Deluxe is unique from other Satisfyers, in that the nozzle is barely there. It doesn’t really stand out from the body at all; it is still silicone, and still removable but is there purely to help create a seal around the clit when in use.

Like the other Satisfyer models the Pro deluxe is fully waterproof, which makes it easy to clean, and using it underwater can heighten the sensations. I found the button placement slightly awkward, and was also frustrated by the fact that there is only one button. It has 11 settings so having just one button to scroll through them all and to turn it on/off is pretty frustrating.

pro deluxe

Now while I understand what they were trying to do with this, it just really didn’t work for me. The shape combined with the lack of nozzle meant I struggled to get a good seal. I also found it quite noisy, and it just wasn’t as powerful as the Pro 2. I could barely feel the flickering sensation because I needed to turn the setting so high it seemed to disappear.

Overall

It just wasn’t for me but if you prefer a gentler sensation then this might be a good one for you to try.

 

*I was given the Satisfyer Pro Deluxe by Satisfyer in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. This review does not contain affiliate links.