The Blame Game

At first I wondered what I did wrong; did I say the wrong thing, did I do something, or not do something, did I show too much emotion, or not enough, maybe it’s because I love hugs, or because I’m ‘inexperienced’ in so many things, or because I want to try so many things.

I don’t know what happened, or how things got messed up, we talked so much and then suddenly it stopped. Suddenly there was nothing. Even when I message you, you don’t reply, you don’t even acknowledge my presence, and I wonder why I still bother. But at the same time I know I won’t stop, not yet, I’ll keep giving you one more chance because when it’s good it’s really good. You make me smile just by being you.

Part of me knows it isn’t anything I’ve done, it’s all you and your issues. But part of me is still hurt by your behaviour, it still makes me feel shit. I assume you don’t treat everyone like that, so I wonder what makes me so…..lucky. I’m not expecting anything from you, except to be treated like an actual person with feelings. Just a touch of compassion and respect. Just to stop treating me as if I’m invisible.

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